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Food

A Montreal Sugar Baby's International Guide to Eating Well

Jacq is a 27-year-old writer and stripper. She grew up in Montreal, which is where she first discovered the sugar baby life and the tricks to getting exceptionally amazing meals for free, from fish to porterhouse steaks and freshly shucked oysters.
Photo via Flickr userT. Tseng

A sugar baby is a young male or female who is financially pampered and cared for by a sugar daddy or sugar mommy in exchange for companionship. Welcome back to Sugar Babies, a column about sugar babies and the food they eat on dates.

Jacq is a 27-year-old writer and stripper. She grew up in Montreal, which is where she first discovered the sugar baby life, after which she became exceptionally good at getting stuff for free—especially nice meals. Jacq now lives in New York with her wife. With her tits out, she gathers stories, which she's currently compiling into a book titled Flashing My Gash for Cash.

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MUNCHIES: When did you start "working" as a sugar baby? Jacq: When I was 20, I was bartending at this douchey club in downtown Montreal, and one night a guy came in and ordered a cocktail, gave me a hundred bucks, and didn't want change, which obviously got my attention. He was a Jordanian oil prince in his mid-twenties and was really sweet. The next day we met up for lunch and I gave him a blow-job afterwards, but I would have fooled around with him more if I wasn't on my period. He had this really beautiful cock, although when he took it out he said, "It's handsome, right?" which kind of ruined it. Anyway, later we went shopping, and suddenly I had new shoes and Chanel perfume, and afterward I had this moment of, "Oh… so this is how the world works."

Epiphany! So where did he take you for lunch? He was visiting from out of town, so I took him to one of my favorite downtown spots, Sho-Dan. They have this sushi pizza that, at 20, I found really novel.

Did that experience pique your interest in sex work? I wouldn't have called it sex work yet. I had a middle class upbringing, I was at a fancy university. No one around me was a sex worker. But I was always interested in the idea of it, and I liked the attention, power, and flirtation, but I didn't want to have sex, necessarily. I just started to realize that life could be free. And so I started Googling…

Which led you to discover sugar daddy websites? Exactly. At first, all the messages I got were from men who wanted me to travel with them, but I was like "Fuck no, I don't want to get raped." Eventually I got a message from this guy Sam who just said "Do you want to go shopping?" He was super old—like a grandpa—and he basically watched me exist. He would take me out shopping and would say, "You can have anything you want." I told him I wanted Prada pumps, and he was like, "Let's start with BCBG." In a way, he was teaching me the process of these types of relationships. You can't ask for Prada immediately; there's a mutually beneficial exchange that has to develop over time.

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What were your dates with him like? For the first date we went to Kaizen, this sushi restaurant on Sherbrooke. It's the kind of restaurant where they acupuncture the fish to sedate them in Japan, then ship them to Montreal where they take the acupuncture needles out, the fish starts flopping around again, and then they kill it. It's incredibly fresh, but it's obscenely expensive, like $60 a roll or something. I got some bitchy cocktail like a lychee martini, and then ordered almost everything on the menu. My favorite was the lobster dragon roll. Sam just sat there smiling at me and barely ate anything.

Were you worried that he'd think it was tacky that you ordered so much? I was starving. I had no money and I didn't care because I thought he was tacky for being on the website anyway. There's this mutual judgment that lingers over all types of sex work. When I started working as a stripper, I'd look at the other strippers and be like "Eww, look at all these crack whores." But that feeling dissipates pretty quickly. You do judge your colleagues at first, and the strippers judge the men who come in, and the men judge the strippers, so everyone is judging everyone. Everyone is fronting. The flip side is that no one cares because you're never going to see each other again. It's like, "You're paying $12 for a Bud Light to see my tits, which means that you're an idiot, but I'm a slut, so whatever." So in a way it's kind of liberating—everyone's just getting drunk and working out their daddy and mommy issues under black lights.

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Did you ever hook up with Sam? No, he was very grandfatherly, but not the type of grandfather who wants to fuck you. He didn't even try. Some guys get off on being seen with a beautiful woman.

Where else did you go with him? We went to an upscale Greek place called Milos. You go to the back of the restaurant and there's all these fresh fish on ice and you take your pick. It's a novel experience.

So who was your next sugar daddy? Oh god, he was this disgusting, balding guy with a ponytail who worked in construction and was a douchebag. He kept overtly looking under the table to check out my legs. For our first and only date, we went to Garcon!, this French restaurant. I had a quail appetizer that was really good. The guy wanted me to go with him to Miami. Sugar daddies love Miami.

Well, it's very classy there. When did you decide to cross over from the world of sugar babies to stripping? I had moved to Australia for a while, and did not anticipate the astronomical cost of living. I had just met this girl who was cute and broke. I remember trying to withdraw money to buy us pizza, and it said 'insufficient funds'. And I was just like "Fuck it, I'm going to be a stripper." I immediately loved it.

Why do you like it? I love the performance, the costuming, the immediate gratification of cold, hard cash, and the sluttery—being a slut is fun! You can also form sincere relationships. And sure, they do have sexual undertones, but everyone has relationships like that in real life; I just turn a profit from it.

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Do you find that people are surprised when you say you like your job? I do! It's unfortunate that the only socially acceptable way to be a sex worker is to hate men—you're supposed to be exploitative, vindictive, and to cheat people out of their money. Because enjoying sexual interactions that you're being paid for, whether you're fucking the guys or just listening to them bitch about their bosses, makes people uncomfortable. It's easier for people to slut-shame than to wrap their heads around the fact that a woman is in control of her body and—gasp—making money off it.

Do you ever go on sugar-daddy-ish dates with your stripper clients? I haven't in a long time. I'm married now, and part of the agreement I have with my wife is that work stays at work. Before we met I was working the day shift at a strip club in Midtown Manhattan, and afterward I'd often go for dinner with one of the guys from the club—they always ask the dancers to hang out afterward—because it meant getting a nice, free meal. I'd usually want oysters, and one of my favorite places around there was Bistro Chat Noir, on the Upper East Side near the park. Guys love to watch you eat oysters, because it's like you're sucking back on their cum.

Ooh, good tip! There's a guy who comes into the strip club a lot who always gets a private room with me and this other dancer. He orders food to the room—strip clubs in New York often have restaurants in them because of certain laws—and just sits there watching us feed each other porterhouse steak and shrimp scampi.

That's not what I ever imagined went on in those private rooms. A lot of guys get rooms to do a bunch of coke. I recently had a couple come in and fuck in front of me. The girl was like "I'm bi!", but was clearly the straightest girl in the world, and was pretending to be into me. So they fucked on the couch and I shouted words of encouragement from the adjacent chair.

What does your wife think about what you do? She's totally respectful and supportive of my stripping career. But the dates outside of the club are a thing of the past. Something I think a lot of people don't acknowledge is that you can be a sex worker and have a relationship, and they don't really intersect that much.

Thanks for talking to me.

This article originally appeared on MUNCHIES on August 21, 2014.