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Food

Brits Are Encouraging Seagulls to Attack Them for Food

Brits are partaking in "gull-running," a terrifying new game wherein frenzied seagulls try to rip chips and sandwiches out of your clutches.
Photo via Flickr user Victor Paul

Absolutely nothing says fun in the sun quite like a disoriented and frenzied seagull aiming for your ever-beckoning eyeballs. But while a new pastime is providing the seabirds with some much-needed recreation by way of epic aerial pursuit, your scarred and flailing body might not enjoy it as much.

That is, unless you happen to be British.

You see, the British have been having problems with seagulls of late. The menacing birds are everywhere, attacking and even killing everything from cute little dogs to unsuspecting tortoises. So, the Queen's subjects are turning the tables on the omnipresent birds. It's like a real-life version of Birdemic, but without the clothes hangers.

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Intrepid Englanders are eagerly flocking to the shore to take part in a newfound game, colloquially known as "gull-running". While the odd coastal pastime originally began in Whitby, it soon spread to locales such as Brighton, Blackpool, and Newquay.

Gull-running involves being so bored out of your soon-to-be-disfigured gourd that you willingly hold bits of food above your head in an attempt to get seagulls to chase you from one designated point to another. The goal, besides surviving with at least two-thirds of your skin intact, is to make it to the other point without sacrificing any of the food bait.

One participant told the BBC, "The idea is to get to the end without a bird nabbing the chips. The winner is whoever can run the furthest without the seagull getting anything."

This deep-seeded vendetta against seagulls has arisen because of an unprecedented number of attacks by the birds.

The epicenter of gull attacks seems to be Cornwall. There, a dog was killed by a swooping seagull. A tortoise, flipped and pecked asunder, was also a seagull victim. One woman suffered injuries to her head inflicted by a merciless gull. Another woman even had her pasty snatched out of her hand on Porthgwidden Beach!

Things are so bad that a BBC News show ran a debate for and against seagulls.

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has also asked several governmental organizations to take part in a national "gull summit." Even Prime Minister David Cameron said he wanted the country to engage in a "big conversation" about seagulls.

What the hell is going on? Terrifying dive-bombing birds seem to be everywhere. Which may be why the Brits are taking such joy in this newfangled gull-running game.

As one gull runner explained, "The seagulls are a pain around here, and they'll try and nick your food anyway, so we might as well have some fun while they're doing it. The tourists think it's hilarious."

So, if you're planning to hop across the pond this summer, be sure to bring a hardhat and a big net. FYI—the gulls seem to have a penchant for chips. You can buy them there.