Canada Just Developed a Miracle Pill for the Gluten Intolerant

Does the mere mention of bread turn you wildly flatulent? Does a whiff of beer make your guts cramp up with a vise-like death grip?

Gluten-intolerant people of the world, your savior has arrived.

His name is Hoon Sunwoo, an associate professor of pharmaceutical sciences at the University of Alberta. He claims to have invented a pill that will allow celiac sufferers to eat pizza, baguettes, and any other gluten-rich items without the crippling side effects that wheat tends to cause in them.

That's right: You can soon eat real-deal carbonara without turning into a whimpering fart factory.

Sunwoo has reportedly spent the last decade developing the drug, which uses antibodies from egg yolks to coat the gluten as it passes through your GI tract. Think of it as Beano for bread.

Celiac sufferers simply take the pill as needed, a few minutes before gorging on gluten-rich food and drink. They are then protected from gluten's effects for the next couple of hours.

And lest you think think that Sunwoo is simply out to grab a piece of the zillions of dollars being funneled into the gluten-free food movement, it turns out that he's just a man with a big heart. "My friend is celiac. We haven't had any entertaining with beers," he told the CBC. "So, that's why I develop this pill—for my friend."

While doctors have advised that the non-celiac, gluten-free world should shut the hell up and start eating wheat again, the very real population of people who are legitimately gluten-intolerant can stand to benefit. After all, gluten-free wheat might be on the horizon, but don't expect to see it in your bakery aisle anytime soon.

Sunwoo cautioned, however, that his pill is not a cure for celiac disease, which is a lifelong autoimmune disorder. "This is not treating the celiac disease or curing celiac disease," he told a local Canadian radio station. "It's just to try to help them improve their quality of life, so when they want to socialize with peers or friends." He added that celiac sufferers will still need to adhere to a gluten-free diet when they aren't taking the medication.

The only problem? You'll have to wait to try it yourself. According to the CBC, the pill completed clinical safety trials in Canada earlier this year; it will soon begin clinical efficacy trials as well.

In the meantime, you'll have to stick to gluten-free onion rings and an endless parade of eye-rolls about your "condition."