Don't Call It a Bloody Mary

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Food

Don't Call It a Bloody Mary

Well, yes—it does have tomato juice (Clamato, actually), vodka, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, and a boatload of garnishes, but we're talking about the Caesar. Geez.
firework_caesar

Maybe you're still in the throes of sobriety now—save for the sugar crash you're trying to claw your way out of after this morning's donut binge—but tonight, if you're the average urban American twenty- or thirtysomething, you'll likely venture into the Friday night abyss to purposefully poison yourself in search of "fun." And you'll probably find it, accentuated by the distorted sense of reality afforded to you by seven well-gin and tonics, countless watery canned beers, or a few long pulls of Fireball from your roommate's gross booze stash.

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Come tomorrow morning, sweating and groaning, you will awaken and rue all of this, of course. But then you will remember this magical truth: the ol' hair of the dog works.

In America, one of the most common doggy dogg hangover cures is a generously seasoned Bloody Mary, the savoriness, spice, and of course, vodka of which is designed to restore your body and soul—if, that is, there's anything left of either after your rough night. But in Canada, there is the Caesar.

READ: Why Canada's Caesars Are Better Than American Bloody Marys

Well, yes—it does have tomato juice (Clamato, actually), vodka, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, and a boatload of garnishes, but this is not a Bloody Mary. Do not speak such blasphemy, or a flock of Mounties will scoop you up and throw you to the wild moose pen. The Caesar—a 46-year tradition up north—is wildly popular for the Canadian in search of a salty reprieve, with 350 million of the drinks consumed across the country every year. That's a lot.

Sure, there are other trajectories of the booze + salt + tomato combination, i.e., the mighty Michelada, the Red Snapper (made with gin), and Jim Stockbauer's not-a-Bloody-Mary. But the Caesar is a proper Calgary tradition, and when in Calgary, or in the darkest moments of a morning-after, you need to know your surroundings and day-drink accordingly. Click below to learn how to make one, you clueless Yankee.

RECIPE: Classic Caesar

The Caesar will save you. The secret could be in the Clamato, or just in the fact that it's Canadian, but no matter what, there's a reason why Northerners have elected not to assimilate into the Bloody Mary world. The reason: a little thing called character, which can't be found on or defined by an ingredients list in a drink recipe.

Hangovers can strike anywhere in the world. It's important to know who's on your side.