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Food

Italy's Schoolchildren Will Not Tolerate Bad Pizza

more than 220 bambini turned up their little Italian noses at the “cold, rubbery, and often uncooked” pizza they were being served at school.

Given the God awful state of school lunches in the US, if an American child has to choose between the standard mystery-meat-and-frozen veggies doled out in cafeterias and a personal pizza, you can put your money on the child choosing pizza. This phenomenon seems to be true even if the 'za is of the from-the-freezer, cardboard-crusted variety, or delivered from a crappy local chain.

But this rule of thumb does not apply to the children of Italy—they evidently have much more discriminating palates there. And that was made clear during recent mini-revolts at three separate schools in Milan. According to RT, more than 220 bambini turned up their little Italian noses at the "cold, rubbery, and often uncooked" pizza they were being served at school.

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And—get this—they then did the unthinkable. They asked for the so-called "white menu" of white rice, boiled chicken, and carrots instead. Instead of pizza! Did we already mention we're talking about pizza?

Sure, pizza has been a food served in Italy for a thousand years or so, so it may very well be that these young men and women have a taste for high-quality sauce and mozzarella imprinted in their very DNA. Local councilor Sylvia Sardone agrees that the stuff being served at the schools was in fact, of "low quality." It seems that the parents of the schoolchildren may be driving the protests—and the situation has become quite chaotic. Call it a pizza rights campaign, if you will.

The lunch ladies (and, perhaps, gentlemen too) at the Milan schools were taken aback by the kids' sudden requests for boiled chicken lunches; the children were said to have waited in line for up to an hour to be served.

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But never fear: The children of Milan will not have to suffer for long with inferior pizza. Catering company Milano Ristorazione, which supplies the schools in question, is on the case. They say they are "looking into changing our supplier of pizza."

Phew. Now schoolchildren here and abroad can look forward to pizza day. Italian schoolchildren will enjoy their good pizza, and American schoolchildren will happily eat their lousy pizza, perhaps not knowing any better. And we'll all live happily ever after in cheesy, gooey harmony—brought together on this issue by crust, sauce, and cheese.