Beer Can Chicken Is the Most Delicious Way to Be Super American

Depending on whom you ask, America is either in the midst of a cultural revolution or its end of days. More than 60 percent of its citizens support marijuana legalization. Women will be required to register for the draft. Gays across the land can get hitched. And people are cooking bacon on the barrels of their assault rifles.

Maybe we're descending into a godless commie hell, or maybe we're about to witness the rebirth of America as a giant cloud of weed smoke that smells like smoky pork and flavored lube. (Or a coast-to-coast Trump megamall, if things continue to go full Idiocracy.)

But one thing both sides can agree on is beer can chicken. (Well, except for the vegans. Sorry, vegans!)

There is perhaps nothing more American—be you a pious pastor or a polyamorous anarchist—than tending a hot grill in summer. So slide a can of cheap domestic (U-S-A!) brew into your bird after rubbing it down with a spicy and sweet dry spice mixture. The beer will not only keep the tender meat moist during cooking, but it will also prop it up and allow for more even cooking around the bird.

After all, who can abide a dry chicken? Not even vegans would wish that upon their flightless friends. (And for them, there's always meatless barbecue.)

So tonight, cook up a bird—or, fine, some jackfruit if you want to be all "cruelty free."

After all, the least we can do extend an olive branch across the aisle is to eat damn good chicken together.