Thanksgiving for Slackers

Here it is, only two days before Thanksgiving—and you haven't planned anything. We understand. That gravity bong isn't going to fill itself.

And while looking at cooking is so easy, it's less easy to actually go out and navigate the teeming masses of violent old ladies at the grocery store, arthritically clutching their cold birds as if they were the last food available before the Rapture.

But Thanksgiving need not be some multi-day, 18-course affair prepared all on your own. No—even an unwashed layabout like yourself can whip up a dish or three in time for the holiday.

In addition to our already too-helpful MUNCHIES Guide to Thanksgiving, we have a few other recipes that can be whipped up as you're whiling away the time playing 2048 and ignoring the fact that the relatives (and all of their requisite crazy) will be there within a matter of hours.

For the easiest of the easy, try Benjamin Sukle's all-processed-food hash brown casserole. It comes together with a bare minimum of effort, much like your wardrobe.

Then there's a savory pie recipe that come courtesy of Rub & Stub in Copenhagen. This is a joint that literally makes delicious food out of leftovers and refuse, so they intimately understand your fridge situation. With some old croissants and some butternut squash (or even meat), you've got a glorious main dish built out of nothing.

Forgot to buy a turkey? That's fine, because turkeys—even the Amish ones—are full of shit. Go vegan this year with a phyllo pot pie that was never given the chance to live—or, for that matter, die.

But if you really are craving delicious dead flesh, nix the whole bird and go with these deep-fried turkey balls made with beer and a shit-ton of duck fat.

And now that you've gotten yourself in a cooking mood, click here to check out the rest of our Thanksgiving recipes—the gravity bong will be there when you get back.