The Mystery of the Cloaked Raw Meat Reaper May Have Been Solved

Just yesterday, VICE reported on sightings of a creepy-ass, cloaked figure dressed up like the Grim Reaper, who was seen scattering raw chopped meat around an apartment complex in Gastonia, North Carolina. Over the past week, the Internet has exploded with images of the figure, with coverage everywhere from Reddit to Twitter to the local news.

Freaked-out netizens speculated: was this a reference to the grim reaper in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey ? A Werner Herzog fever dream sprung from Fitzcarraldo's deleted scenes and brought to life? Had M. Night Shyamalan decided to pull the ultimate twist on life itself by sauntering around North Carolina in a muted, goth serape?

Some welcomed the arrival of the satanic figure: "I, for one, welcome our Supreme Tri-Mage back to Sector 12," tweeted @krownz. Others weren't so thrilled: "WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT," screamed @summeranne.

Ghostly figure dropping raw meat on playground causes concern http://t.co/Ejv5kes36W pic.twitter.com/Mvz26W7W63

— WPXI (@WPXI) August 26, 2015

Well, if you didn't sleep last night, dear readers, you might rest well tonight. The scoundrel appears to have been found. Then again, when you hear the story behind the story, you probably won't feel 100-percent reassured.

Here's the latest:

One Lance Calhoun—the director of operations at Southwood Realty, the managers of the apartment complex where the hooded ghoul was sighted—told Buzzfeed that his staff had received a call from a "nervous" mother. She said she was afraid the whole thing was just one big misunderstanding.

The on-edge mama said that her college-student daughter may have been "dressing up" as part of a "school project."

So does that means there's a sketchy dude in a tweed jacket getting his Dumbledore on at Wesleyan, or some such university, sending his students out into suburban neighborhoods throughout the South and asking them to interpret their senior theses in performance art projects involving red meat?

Sure, we'll buy that.

"That may have been my daughter," she is reported as saying. (May have? Or most definitely was?) The woman continued that she was concerned that her daughter's pre-Halloween dip into the costume bin may have brought "undue attention." Ya think?

Mom said she fears her mini-me could now get "into trouble at school."

"She was dressing up like a TV character," she explained. "Completely innocent, completely harmless." Mom then went on to blame the Internet: "Social media does what social media does."

Ok, Mom. Must we remind you that your daughter was sprinkling raw meat throughout a residential community while dressed in a black cloak? And exactly what TV character impishly deposits hamburger around an apartment complex while impersonating the grim reaper? The only imaginable source of this character would be Slovenia's public access television.

Anyway, despite swirling rumors to the contrary, the Gastonia Police Department said that they had not officially opened an investigation into the mystery figure. Apparently, they are content with the proffered explanation. And Calhoun, the manager of the complex, seems content as well. He believes the mystery is solved and that tonight, "I think we'll sleep just fine."

We don't know about you, but we're still more than a tad concerned. Until there's proof of its benignity, the possibilities remain open that the reaper could be anything from a Jeffrey-Dahmer-in-training to a goth teenager who couldn't get a ride to Hot Topic.

Or maybe @KalebCombs is right. He tweeted, "The world is officially ending."

At least the dogs in one apartment complex in Gastonia, NC had a good night last night. Free meat!

Sleep well, everyone. Sleep well.