This Week in Food Porn: Cauliflower Cheese, Crabapples, and Toast
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This Week in Food Porn: Cauliflower Cheese, Crabapples, and Toast

The week in food porn is here. The greatest images of edible beauty to be uploaded to the internet in the last seven days—no scrolling required.

If, like me, you recently broke your phone screen by bending over to pick up a packet of Doritos in a WH Smiths in a windblown train station somewhere in the north of England, you'll have no doubt spent the intervening days howling over old polaroids of some chips and a digital photo your mum took last week of her new cress.

But fear not: the week in food porn is here. The greatest images of edible beauty to be uploaded to the internet in the last seven days—no scrolling required.

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You're very, very welcome.

On a day like today I just want to hole up and eat my whole roast cauliflower cheese with crispy fried capers. Pic by @kristinperers for @guardian_cook recipe on guardian online #cauliflower #cheese #capers #comfortfood

A photo posted by Rosie Birkett (@rosiefoodie) on Nov 18, 2015 at 7:40am PST

Yes, at first glance, I thought this was spotted dick smothered in custard too. Then I briefly wondered if it was a brain covered in tahini. But, glory be, it's better than any pudding, any organ—it's that great white flower we call a cheese-delivery-service.

Remembering happier times from last weekend @principesavoia. Wouldn't mind some pancakes + freshly baked croissants right now! Happy Sunday! #onlyattheprincipe #dcmoments A photo posted by Andrea Tamburrini (@anddicted) on Nov 15, 2015 at 4:30am PST

I know I'm meant to be looking at the breakfast here but I just can't stop looking at that Wetherspoons carpet. No wonder one of those croissants is trying to peer over the edge of its basket to get a better look.

You are right…I am actually 5 years old, not 16. Bear toast #breadnimals on slices of oat bran loaf today to help me through setting up an email subscription service, made of vegan brownie batter spread, coffee peanut butter tofu mousse (this is SO GOOD! Expect a recipe soon), banana, and coconut cream Remember to join the #citruschristmascircus and tag me and @flourishinghealth! Been struggling a little with some things so I apologize for the lack of spectacularly bombastic looking treats - they're coming soon, I promise

A photo posted by Lin(@tumblinbumblincrumblincookie) on Nov 19, 2015 at 3:31am PST

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This is the kind of cutesy approach to food that makes me want to fart in my hand and throw it in someone's sandwich. But toast is toast is toast, even if someone spreads yours with a vaguely faecal bear.

Afternoon all. I am on @obsfood Instagram today trying my very best to post some positive, not too trivial stuff. After last night everything seems extremely banal. So I'm doing my best to touch upon the themes of tolerance, cultural diversity, kindness, hard work, traditions and happy coexistence. Here is a woman from the hills of #Akhaltzikhe in #Georgia making some quince juice for winter. Go buy some quinces and poach them with spices, then use the syrup to make mulled cider and get warm and drunk tonight with your family and hold them tight and kiss their faces. A photo posted by Olia Hercules (@oliahercules) on Nov 14, 2015 at 6:12am PST

If ever there were an image that captured some morsel of what it is to be human—of the universality of this fleshy mortal existence—it is an old woman with a plastic bucket, slicing fruit to stock up for the coming cold.

Crabapples and figs for an autumnal Victoria sponge. Styling by my lovely assistants @puddinglaneblog and @rhubarbandrose #stylingandphotographyworkshop #violetandthevicarage with @kristinperers tap photo for sources

A photo posted by violet cakes by claire ptak (@violetcakeslondon) on Nov 8, 2015 at 4:59am PST

Did you know that as an apple tree ages—as its vitality withers and its sap weakens—its apples will naturally and organically return to crabapples? They literally wane unto their apple ancestors, like an old man returning to the nappy, the soft puddings, and the toothless mewls. Second childishness and mere oblivion is coming to us all so let us eat, drink, and be merry today.

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Goats cheese and aged ricotta with a black rind from Francesca and Gregorio who make cheese near Scanno in Abruzzo: happy making. A photo posted by rachel (@rachelaliceroddy) on Nov 17, 2015 at 4:20am PST

Lie me across a board and slice me open until I crumble and fall away, dear heart. For now is the season of cheese and knives and salty things.

New dish….#inspired#theartofplating#chef_life#scalops#passion#autumn#colors#sapori#cucinaitaliana#foodporn#foodart#followme#gastroart#picsoftheday#wildchef#truecooks#nextlevel#bottarga#cheftalk#

A photo posted by Marco Tola Chef (@marco_tola_chef) on Nov 19, 2015 at 5:18am PST

I like to eat in lines. Lines and lines and lines. With bacon and mussels, alive, alive, oh.

Apparently it is #HomeMadeBreadDay (?!) I'll just roll with it. Here is a photo of pampushky from my book #mamushka probably one of the best home-made breads in the world…as its soaked in herby garlicky oil as soon as its out of the oven. Serve it with hearty beef rib borshch. Cant think of anything better in this weather. @kriskirkham #ukraine A photo posted by Olia Hercules (@oliahercules) on Nov 17, 2015 at 9:52am PST

Sometimes bread looks like a potted flower and sometimes it looks like a Biba print and other times again it looks like an art deco sun covered in lawn trimmings. But it will always be bread. Thank god.

Oh we do love our beautiful olives. Awesome snap by @emperorofhoxton, top form as always #olive #mediterranean #food #instafood #photographer #foodie #foodporn

A photo posted by Belazu Ingredient Co. (@belazu_co) on Nov 16, 2015 at 4:16am PST

Mate, that's a salty plum. Don't even tell me it's an olive. It's a plum. You've lost it. Mate, you're jabbering. It's a plum. Sorry. Sorry. Mate. Sorry. But that's a plum. I know you think it's an olive, mate, but seriously, that's a plum. It's a plum. Your mum's a plum.

Now you see them, now you don't ! #e5croissant #stoneground A photo posted by @e5bakehouse on Nov 15, 2015 at 1:42am PST

When I am finally entered into the hallowed corridors of the National Portrait Gallery, I want my picture to simply be a Rorschach blot of long-since-eaten butter dripping from a sheet of greaseproof paper. Thanks.