Man Discovers Beatles-Related Trader Joe's Conspiracy

Eleanor Rigby is a name that’s got five syllables. Trust me. Just sound it out. Say it out loud. I demand you.

… See? It’s true. I’m not lying to you.

This is an impressively unspectacular fact, until you consider that this allows you to graft any pentasyllabic phrase of your choosing onto that line and sing it to the tune of the Beatles song. Fits perfectly. Snug as a freakin’ rug.

New York-based designer Daniel Spenser discovered this last October when traipsing around Trader Joe’s, seized by a fit of boredom while this song was lodged in his head. "I started taking photos of products that fit into the song because I thought people would think it was funny, and then I'd be able to parlay those clicks into a career as someone who counts syllables," he explained to MUNCHIES over email on Thursday.

“Not only does Trader Joe’s have great prices,” he announced via Twitter in that initial post that went mildly viral, relatively speaking. “All of their march fits into 'Eleanor Rigby.'”

Er, not quite, my man. Not every item Trader Joe’s sells has a five-syllable name, though each one pictured in that initial tweet did: Mini Beef Tacos. Fantasy Pumpkins. Harvest Whole Wheat Bread. Fat Free Ricotta.

I’m pleased to announce that New York’s finest grocery lyricist is back, baby.

This past Saturday, Spenser took to Twitter once again to alert the world to the fact that he had, indeed, found more Trader Joe’s products that are five syllables. Gluten Free Joe-Joe’s. Cracker Assortment. 5 Cheese Greek Spiral. Maple Leaf Cookies. Shelled Edamame. Pesto and Quinoa.

Wow. Amazing. He’s got a point. Try it—swap ‘em in. El-ea-nor-rig-by; shelled-ed-a-ma-me. Syncs up. Who did this?

"I had been putting five-syllable words/phrases into that song for a while," Spenser wrote MUNCHIES over email on Thursday when asked what circumstantial forces compelled him to tweet about this two whole times, months apart. "It is an effective tool that lets people know how insufferable I am in the shortest amount of time." MUNCHIES has also reached for comment from Trader Joe’s, assuming it could have any possible comment to offer on this, and has yet to receive a response.

If you’re wondering why the hell this went viral, well, your guess is good as mine—and you’re certainly not alone! In one of the replies to Spenser’s latest tweet, a particularly flummoxed follower pressed him for some clarity.

“Am I understanding this correctly that you are saying these product names in the tune/cadence of literally the 'Eleanor Rigby' part of 'Eleanor Rigby'?” the user asked.

“Yeah,” Spenser confirmed. “It is very dumb.”