A Dildo Sabotaged a Charity Bake Sale for Orphans

We're all about a good prank. Aside from the occasional nihilist, who isn't? But for every prank, there is an appropriate place and an appropriate time.

And, unfortunately, there are many inappropriate places and times. Funerals, for example. Religious services. And Dickensian charity events involving Romanian orphans—or any orphans, really. Pranks involving orphanages: not so funny. Especially when the prank involves a sex toy.

Unfortunately, one prankster in Glasgow hadn't received this memo.

It all went down last week, when the Glasgow City Council held a bake sale to raise money for a Romanian orphanage. Pretty good cause, huh?

Indeed. It has been widely reported that the realities of life in Romanian orphanages are horrific and a number of charities have been established to relieve the plight of these orphans. The good people who work at the Glasgow City Council just wanted to help out by having a cake sale.

The aforementioned prank however, was first uncovered when someone spied something strange wedged into one of the cakes at the cake sale. A source told The Evening Times that the source of the problem was soon revealed: "By the close of business, the true nature of things came to light—someone had rammed a sex toy through a chocolate cake," the source added. This particular toy was, in fact, a dildo.

An investigation has been launched to identify the tone-deaf punkster, but it was too late for the poor Romanian orphans. "The sale was called off and word quickly spread that all cakes had to be binned due to this malevolent act," the source said.

If you are completely appalled by this chocolate-cake destroying (or dildo wasting) act—and who wouldn't be?—fear not. An internal investigation had been launched. CCTV footage of the break room, where the charitable event was being held, is being reviewed.

Meanwhile, Glasgow is not the only place in Britain where a cake has been the subject of an oddly off-putting, sexualized gaffe. Back in June, one Manchester mom was appalled to find that the teddy bears atop her three-year-old daughter's christening cake had a crease that made the bears look suspiciously like they had female genitalia. According to the Manchester Evening News, the bakery that supplied the cake said the crease in question was simply a seam found on all of the toy teddies it used as cake toppers. The bakery said the claims of a naked bear cake topper were "ridiculous and bizarre."

Back in Glasgow, however, there was no denying the sexual nature of the foreign object in the cake, and the purposeful nature of the act. In the wise words of a Glasgow City Council spokeswoman, "It's disappointing someone would intentionally sabotage a charity event which staff spent their own time and effort on."

Chocolate cake enthusiasts and Romanian orphans alike certainly agree, and hope the dildo-wielding prankster will be brought to swift justice. And the bakery in Manchester? It should probably find another supplier of teddy-bear cake toppers.