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Food

A Stiff Cocktail Solves All Family Thanksgivings

We all need a little bit of social lubricant when it comes to family gatherings. Luckily, we've gathered our best cocktail recipes from some of the finest mixologists alive to treat you and your loved ones right on Thanksgiving.
Photo via Flickr user Gabriel Amadeus

If you're one of those well-adjusted saps who sits around the Thanksgiving table un-belligerently chitchatting with your extended family members without feeling the need to smash a bottle over someone's head because of their retrograde beliefs about Middle Eastern policy or the cutest One Direction member, then you should probably move along.

This here is for the rest of us, those of us with families who require a little bit of medication to get through Thanksgiving.

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By which we mean the sweet anodyne known as alcohol.

Now, we'd never encourage alcoholism, so we'll leave the prescription and dosage up to you. Maybe you need a stiff, fennel-infused Japanese whiskey to share with your father as you discuss the finer points of Bill O'Reilly's Hall of Shame. Maybe you'd prefer to clink a highball of grape juice and vodka with your grandfather's new wife, who happens to be in your sister's sorority.

What about your aunt who unfailingly brings you a new dreamcatcher each and every year? Cannabis-infused cachaça, clearly. And if you need to woo the in-laws with your expansive knowledge of oenology, impress them by opening that bottle of Château Lafite Rothschild with your shoe.

But if you need to get the whole family shitty drunk for cheap, turn to Julia Ziegler-Haynes' delicious whiskey, cider, and rosemary punch, which can be mixed up in less than a minute and tastes like a vacation.

Luckily, we've gathered our best cocktail recipes from some of the finest mixologists alive—including a Death & Co. vet, a NOLA legend, and a one-eyed Texan—all in one place. And don't forget the 1,000-year-old hangover cure the next day.

Check out our cocktail recipe collection here, and good luck with your creepy uncle. He's a toucher.