The Spirit of Giving: A Desi Boozy Gift Guide

This time of the year might not mean anything to you. You’ve already celebrated the dawn of your New Year at some other point in the course of 2018, and Christmas has just been romanticised for us by the great brainwashing machine that is Hollywood. Or maybe this is the time you celebrate and end up groping wildly in the dark to tell the people in your life what they mean to you. Either way, this boozy gift guide is to be kept for the time when prezzies have to be handed out, because we did the thinking so you don’t have to. It’s a list of spectacular homegrown spirits and brews that will make you feel proud about being an Indian. For once.

You will never match up. When people ask how you ended up with someone so awesome, they are not kidding; they actually think you’re a con. If you need a bottle as good and good-looking as them, not much can come close. But you can try with the Hapusa gin—the bottle is exquisite, and the gin, an absolute beauty. Made with Himalayan juniper and native botanicals, you can pair this homegrown gin with some upgraded tonic (try Svami or 1724) to get them hammered the classy way.

You go together like Old Monk and Coke. Things of questionable taste and character, but so comforting and nostalgia-driven that you’d have it no other way. It’s like you know you can do much better but why bother? You’re kinda shitty together and you kinda end up doing terrible shit when together, but that’s what you’ve come to love about this combo.
PS: Old Monk has come out with a white rum, flavoured rums as well as flavoured alco-pops (flavoured alcoholic beverages with relatively low alcohol content). But we're going for the OG one, for a friend so equally OG.

She is the reason you exist, quite literally. But know that mommy is not looking for Instagrammable gifts as much as something with a bit of thought in it. So, instead of simply getting a wine/champagne/whisky bottle, why don’t you get something that makes for fabulous cocktails or concoctions, and actually make them together? If she’s a gin drinker, the Stranger & Sons gin with a lovely but hard-to-find Fever-Tree tonic, maybe? Or how about a batch of ice-cold margaritas replacing the tequila with DesmondJi’s 100% Agave? Or something shaken up from the Wild Tiger rum, subtly hinting at her fierce parenting skills, sometimes a bit too fierce?

It’s not that we are running into a cliché by assuming your pop likes his whiskey. It’s just that sitting down with him for a drink, with ice clinking in a glass as solid as him, would be nice, no? I mean, time is really the best gift. But since that is expensive AF, may we propose the Paul John Bold? The single malt from Goa goes to show that the humid climate of the pint-sized state that has become the new haven for distillers actually works to its advantage. The Paul John range of whiskies has received global adulation, and the awards it’s won might make your father feel like the Best Dad in the World, without having to gift a crappy coffee mug.

Look, Sheila already had a tough time thinking of giving you a present that will make you like her at least a little without thinking she will replace your mommy, who was/is a very special lady. Help her ease up a little. Not vodka-easy (you don’t need to see that side of her) but just-the-right-kinds easy. Maybe the Greater Than gin will do? It’s tasteful and thoughtful (made using junipers from Macedonia, angelica root from Germany, orris root from Italy, orange peel from Spain, and coriander seeds, fennel, chamomile, ginger and lemongrass from India), and not so expensive that you feel like you’ve gone all out.

The only thing you know about them is that they are fucking your sibling. You def don’t want to splurge on someone that might change when the season changes, but you do want to come across as the cool-funny-nice sibling. Pick up a half dozen White Rhino beers—their Wit if you don’t know their last name; the lager if they’re chill and seem like they go skinny dipping on holidays; or the IPA if they’re stubborn assholes but whose brashness you secretly admire.

He’s mom’s uncle’s brother’s nephew’s son who’s studying in town and has no other friends or family, and is taking over your room tonight… wait WTF. Just be nice and get him some Biras because who doesn’t like a (Blonde > White, duh) Bira. Oh, him? Well, you can just have it yourself then while camping in the living room.

Switch off the TV—uncle P is coming over for dinner and some whisky-on-the-rocks. An Amrut single malt might show you actually care rather than just want some free entertainment that comes your way post his third drink.

You want to be them when you grow up. They’re so cool you wonder how you share the same genepool. Look up Goa Brewing Co’s Eight Finger Eddie IPA which is being bottled in small quantities, and with some sweet design on their bottles. They call themselves ‘non-conformist beers’—that could be corny but is not, just like the cousin.

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