This New Start-Up Wants You to Bid On Your Own Rent

A weekly column about how young people are fucked lol.

Trudging around looking for your fourth new flat in as many years, trying to find somewhere that doesn't have a third of a kitchen or a weird toilet-shower thing, can get pretty boring, right? If only there were a way to make it less dreary and more exciting. Maybe the plodding, repetitive disappointment could be replaced with the stressful thrill of an online bidding war?

Well fortunately a cool new start-up has come up with a clever new way to do just that and push your anxiety levels through the roof, which is arguably better than being bored. San Francisco based Rentberry is a platform for landlords to list their property. The difference is that rather than simply being told how unreasonable the rent is, you bid like you would on eBay, and the landlord can accept the best offer.

Speaking to the San Francisco Chronicle, CEO Alex Lubinsky said, "Essentially, we offer a more efficient and transparent application process which has the elements of bidding and an auction." The company reckons that in SF's sought after Bay Area, the average tenant will save seven to ten hours searching for a place and at least $400 in rental application fees, after Rentberry have creamed off their own fee. Which sounds great!

On their website, meanwhile, they tell potential landlords, "We strive to maximize your rental price by allowing tenants to submit custom offers and compete in the bidding process."

The potential for this to jack up prices in some cases is obvious, and it's not difficult to imagine the horror stories that would emerge were this applied to the UK, for example: "Bidding war sees price for studio flat in Bermondsey double in ONE HOUR" or whatever. "Stoke Newington piss-shower flat sets new bidding record".

But there are more sinister things going on here.

Firstly, there's something very dark about increasing your own rent. You can see it can't you? You get excited about a place. You start to bid well within your price range and as you do, get emotionally invested and can really picture yourself living there: it's right on a canal and there's something so calming about water / wouldn't it be great to be able to walk to work – the money you'd save on trains! / it won't destroy your lungs with damp like that last place you looked at. And the kitchen is really cute! Before you know it you're sat on your bed checking your laptop at 3AM, battling it out with someone who's trying to steal your amazing new lifestyle from under you, watching the price multiply and working out what economies you could make to secure this special place. Seconds before the auction closes, you gazump the bastard. He's not gonna have an answer to that amount: I win. Right?

Then when you're struggling to pay it off you've got nobody but your stupid fucking self to blame.

Nobody, that is, except those other pricks who were bidding against you. I bet they got a cheaper, better deal shortly afterwards. I bet they have a more attractive partner to live with and take better care of their houseplants too.

But of course blaming people in the same boat as you is bullshit. Students at students from UCL, Goldsmiths, Roehampton and the Courtauld Institute are withholding their rent. In doing so the strikers are currently demonstrating, the best way for renters to improve their lot is to act together in their shared interests. There are no shared interests with Rentberry, no collective, just a bunch of dickheads out-bidding each other and throwing more of each others' money at the landlord in the process.

@SimonChilds13

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