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Free Agent Joe Anderson is Super Thirsty for a Shot with Texans

Desperate times...

Even by posting this, I feel complicit in acknowledging, and then disseminating a desperate cry for attention. But there's something charming about Joe Anderson's plight to join his hometown Houston Texans as a free agent. He's honest about his naivety. Like Lloyd Dobler standing outside of Diane Court's house, blasting Peter Gabriel. (Whatever. I watch rom-coms. So should you.)

Anderson was undrafted in 2012, but was signed by the Chicago Bears and later had a stint with the Philadelphia Eagles in 2014, and now he's obviously pretty eager to get back in the game. Here's the longwinded love note that he wrote along with the Instagram photo,

#NothingWillStopMe Lord it's all in your hands, all I know is that I believe it by faith and see it all happening even when it looks like a joke before the eyes of man! I fill myself with humility and say let your Will be done and use me to allow others to believe in your power!!!! Im not looking at my situation with a worldly mindset and that's what's gonna seperate me my hunger can't be matched my heart can't be compared too, I'm outside the Houston Texans facility every morning, because I kno what type of gift God has blessed me with!!! A lot of people don't really live out the meaning#WhateverItTakes they just sayin it!!! You gotta really live that junk if you say it and believe in yourself and trust in the Lord, and living it don't just mean hold up a sign!! Oh there is much pain behind holding this sign an it's not from bein doubted or the underdog, like how bad do you really want it?? Forget a publicity stunt Boyz is Really HUNGRY out hur dawg to the point if the coach wanna line up I'll route him up too, to the point if it's special teams an the REF get in the way I'll hit him too!! It's something flickering in my head everyday with much Humility and WILL power to go the extra mile when it come to believing in myself and proven all doubters wrongI'm not just chasing greatness for myself/family but for all the people that lack faith and wanna quit and don't believe God still moves, DAWG if you gotta DREAM GO GET THAT!! Let ZERO What If's stand in the way go to the grave on E, not off what someone told you you can't do…Create and tell your testimony don't be ashamed of it, do it all for the glory of the kingdom take yourself outta the picture I'm out here on FAITH, it's bigger than just collecting a check to me straight up! The way I do what I do and why I do what I do isn't just to score touchdowns and gain fame that's far from the case I don't need all that cause I'm already famous in spirit an you can't get no famous than that, when I get my shot you'll see what the Lord is truly about to do in my life and I pray wit all my heart it inspires you to never Give up.When your purpose means more than your situation God will give you favor #TAGandREPOST

Whew. That was a thirsty mouthful. Maybe Anderson shouldn't talk about hitting refs, maybe? Maybe? In case you missed it, "I'll route him up too, to the point if it's special teams an the REF get in the way I'll hit him too!!" Try sticking to some straight-ahead jazz, Anderson.

Anyway, Anderson's middle school love-lorn tactics might not be the best approach—some people like it better when you play hard-to-get. Also, as my coworker Aaron Gordon pointed out, he's standing in front of the fan's entrance, not the front office. Might be worth moving. And this Anderson guy is trying to say he knows something about positioning…

[h/t Bleacher Report]