Cry-Baby of the Week

It's that time of the week where we laugh at little sissy girls and boys again!

Cry-baby #1: Raymond Hodgson

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The incident: A man named Raymond Hodgson found out that his wife (both pictured above) had read that shitty fanfic bondage book Fifty Shades of Grey.

The appropriate reaction: Nothing. Maybe introduce her to some less shitty books if that's the kind of thing you care about.

The actual reaction: According to a report in cry-baby Bible The Sun, Raymond "flipped out" when he discovered that his girlfriend Emma had been reading the novel. He stormed out of the house, and returned a short time later armed with a bottle of brown sauce. Which he then squirted all over Emma "from head to toe… completely coating her face and eyes — before splattering the walls". He may or may not have also slapped her.

Apparently he did it because he wanted to show her "what saucy really means" (that's an actual quote that I didn't just make up, BTW).

As a result of his decidedly un-chill actions, Emma broke up with him and called the police. He has since been charged with common assault, sentenced to a six-month community order, forced to wear an electronic tag and also to pay Emma £100 compensation.

Cry-baby #2:

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The incident: A woman claims her hearing was damaged by the screaming of the fans at a Justin Bieber concert.

The appropriate reaction: Not sure. Not sue someone for something that wasn't their fault?

The actual reaction: Stacey is suing Justin Bieber for $9 million. Stacey, who was attending the concert of her own free will and not because Justin Bieber forced her to, claims that the damage was done after J-Biebz "climbed into a heart-shaped, aluminum/steel gondola and was pulled out over the crowd". He then apparently "enticed the crowd into a frenzy of screams by continuously waving his arms in a quick and upward motion". Which is why she is suing him. Because he encouraged kids to scream. And those screams caused "hearing loss, severe tinnitus and hyperacusis". Sigh.

Is it even possible for kids to scream loud enough to cause actual hearing damage? I've never been to a Justin Bieber concert, so I'm not sure how loud it can get. I'd imagine VERY loud. But surely this would be a way more common issue if it was actually possible, right? If it was really bad, and the sound was unbearable, could she have maybe fashioned her hands into points, and then moved her fingers into her ears in a quick and upward motion? Or left? IDK.

So who is the biggest cry-baby? Let us know in the poll below so that we can shame one of these self-serious pussies forever:

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Previously: Outraged Human Centipede momma vs. cookie hating homophobes

Winner: Cookie hating homophobes!

Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT