Karma is a Bitch

Content for meme-makers rained in from the heavens yesterday after news broke that former Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) head and Sanskari-In-Chief Pahlaj Nihalani’s upcoming venture, the innocently titled, Rangeela Raja, was asked to incorporate 20 cuts to get a certificate from the board.

In his petition, Nihalani, the former producer of Julie 2 who can’t handle more than two seconds of kissing on screen, even attacked Netflix, first, by calling it, “Netflex”, then by stating that Sacred Games is a “website”. Read this Sex(less)peare’s interpretation of technology: “It is an unhidden fact that recently, a company known as Netflex started a Website known as ‘Secret Game’ which has become very popular however, all the films and programmes shown in the said website are purely adult programme and it could be said the same are in the nature of blue films.”

I’m not ageist, but the dude linguistically shat himself. Maybe he should go on Shark Tank and try to pitch an adult mouth and mind diaper? I don’t know.

Nihalani, btw, who usually puts out fires by pouring gasoline over them (cc: Udta Punjab, Anurag bhai Kashyap), then indulged into a cut-slinging match with perfect cryer Aamir Khan over Thugs of Hindostan, alleging that Khan’s film got a certificate despite applying after Pahlaj bhai. Angry, Nihalani bhai appealed to the Bombay High Court, who, in response, cut all their fingers, leaving Pahlaj bhai staring at the middle one.

In a way, I often wonder if we’re all dumber for having Nihalani in our lives. But then I look at him: With his definitions of technology, and his dreams of making Rangeela Raja destroyed to smithereens by the very standards he set for us, I feel there’s a moral lesson here. First, that the system fucks everyone—fairly. Nihalani was chilling up top, and got jacked when he became aam aadmi. And second, maybe we should all just be nice to people and let them release content.

Well, everyone except Pahlaj bhai. Eff that guy.