Make These Fall Cocktails to Preserve Your Sanity This Thanksgiving

Let's be honest: Thanksgiving can be a tiresome and messy ordeal. Sure, it's pretty damn awesome that we're given permission once a year to gorge ourselves on an endless stream of stuffing and pie, but that doesn't really make up for your flight being cancelled twice or the ramblings of your alt-right uncle and his borderline inappropriate bromance with Roger Ailes.

Thankfully, we here at MUNCHIES have thought long and hard about all the unwelcome elements that make Thanksgiving an unmitigated disaster and have come up with a surefire way to counter them.

The answer? Booze. Lots and lots of booze. We're not just talking about a bottle of Yellow Tail slugged down behind your aunt's Beanie Baby collection, but a cornucopia of cocktails so all-encompassing, your extended family is guaranteed to be left in a pleasant haze of jovial drunkenness all day long.

With that said, here are a few cocktails that will make your and your family's Thanksgiving gathering infinitely better.

What says football season and multi-colored leaves more than cider? Add a little chili-flavored liqueur and some bitters, and you've got some grown-up apple juice, indeed.

If you want to go hardcore with your cider, make it yourself with this recipe that calls for lots of Gala apples and all manner of autumnal spices—plus some everclear, just for good measure, of course. This cider is literally fall in a glass.

On to the serious stuff, and by that we mean mezcal, mixed with some cranberry liqueur and vermouth. This cobbler will bring you to the cranberry bogs and leave you there, feeling much better for the trip. Your little cousin Dylan's stamp collection will seem downright fascinating after a glass or two of this.

While the Tom and Jerry is traditionally associated with Christmastime, that doesn't mean that the rum-and-bourbon drink's cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, and allspice don't perfectly complement a Thanksgiving meal. We assure you that you will never associate the Tom and Jerry with Christmas—or an annoying animated cat and mouse—again after imbibing this boozy Thanksgiving cocktail.

And as if this time of year didn't already have enough of that #24/7PSL hype, Al Sotack's Sam Hain cocktail combines Cognac, apple brandy, cinnamon, and aromatic bitters with a healthy helping of homemade pumpkin syrup.

Make them, drink them, and try your damnedest not to get stuck in a conversational gridlock about Hillary Clinton's emails. Cheers.