Foto via Flickr-brugeren lu_lu
There are few culinary experiences as anxiety-inducing as waiting for the pizza delivery guy to show up. The inability to drag your eyes away from the ticking clock (they said delivery in 30 minutes or less, right?), the jump at every vaguely doorbell-like noise that could signal the hallowed arrival, the niggling doubt that sets in precisely three minutes after tapping "Order Now," telling you that you should have added a side of garlic bread …So when your box of cheese-laden goodness finally arrives—most likely 20 minutes later than expected and handed over by a worryingly sweaty moped driver—it's pretty fucking annoying if it turns out not to contain the pizza you ordered.
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An unnamed woman from Connecticut feels your pain. In a 911 recording obtained this week by NBC Connecticut, the anonymous caller can be heard telling the police operator that a pizza she ordered hadn't turned out as expected.She said: "If I order a pizza and they don't want to give me my money back, can you guys do something? I ordered a small pizza—half cheese and half bacon—and they bring me half hamburger, so I call them back and they don't want to give my money back."Whoa, Nelly! This isn't just a missing bottle of Sprite, this is a full-on topping mix up and a refusal to issue a refund. Imagine the horror at flipping open your pizza box to find that the delicious bacon bits you had specifically requested were replaced with hamburger—a subpar pizza topping by anyone's standards. Plus, you can't even get your money back! Surely a pizza catastrophe of this magnitude should be taken straight to the authorities?READ MORE: My Szechuan Restaurant Is So Spicy That a Customer Called The Cops on Me
Nope. The police operator was unsympathetic to our pizza fan's plight, telling her: "that's not a police matter, ma'am" and advising she take up the issue with Empire Pizza, the pizzeria from which the offending pie had been ordered.As NBC reports, a spokesperson for Empire Pizza said that they would have replaced the hamburger pizza for the woman—had she not eaten half of it when she called.It's hard to tell whether unnamed pizza woman the best or worst person in the world.WATCH: The Pizza Show