We Tasted the Future of Food in 2015

If push comes to shove, we'd say that no amount of innovation by the Grant Achatz's and Ferran Adrià's of the world are enough to erase the stain left by the countless spherificators, spiralizers, and piss-poor 3D printers that the world of food technology suffered this year. But as the old proverb totally goes, "Shitty food tech can only be vanquished by inspired food tech." Thankfully, 2015 has also been a year chock-full of some of the most superlative advancements to grace gastronomy in recent years.

And, unlike their QVC counterparts, these technological advancements will likely have long-lasting implications on the culinary landscape.

We start off our odyssey back through the year in food technology with quite possibly the strongest advancement in the bunch. Just what makes this bit of technological wonderment so amazing, you ask? Well, that would probably have to do with the fact that it includes not just pork, but fucking lasers, too!

Back in July, Harvard scientists found out that if you treat pigskin properly, it can actually shoot out tiny laser beams. Apparently, semiconductors and crystals can be swapped in favor of living cells to create badass lasers—albeit ones significantly weaker than a traditional laser. Even if you don't happen to be running a makeshift nip-and-tuck clinic or aren't an aspiring Bond villain, who the hell isn't wowed by that?

The next item on our intrepid tour of 2015 food tech takes us to the nebulous realm of virtual and augmented reality. You don't need to be Matthew Lillard a la Hackers to know that virtual reality was quite possibly the single largest technological question mark in 2015. With that firmly in mind, back in April we ran an article delving into two completely different applications of food-based virtual reality. One involved the use of photogrammetry to create the world's first three-dimensional interactive food blog. On the other end of the spectrum, we spoke to Jinsoo An of Project Nourished, who is using crazy things like aromatic diffusers and bone conduction transducers to simulate and enhance "a gastronomical virtual reality experience."

The only thing better than eating a whole bunch of magic mushrooms is eating a whole bunch of magic mushrooms while basking in neon light that's fueled by a kickass battery made out of said magic mushrooms. We told you about a testament to human ingenuity that may soon be a possibility thanks to some brave researchers at the University of California-Riverside who—earlier this year—successfully created a new type of battery made in part out of portobello mushrooms.

It's only fair that we continue along with another bit of vegetal-related tech and jump straight into an October post relating to the emerald glory of lettuce. In fact, lettuce might very well change the face of pharmaceuticals, at least according to the first study to ever successfully demonstrate the commercial viability of producing low-cost drugs created entirely from plants. Will lowly lettuce usher in an era of affordable medicine? Only the manatees, who so love their precious lettuce, can say for sure.

You have to be a straight-up Number Six-level Cylon not to like ice cream. It's truly the nectar of the Gods. Which is exactly why we were so surprised that possibly the single greatest advancement to ice cream came from the oft-reviled natto. The traditional fermented soybeans contain a compound that not only firms up ice cream, but it can actually keep it frozen for longer. Imagine the possibilities! No longer will the shoes of precocious tykes and the elderly be stained with puddles of rocky road.

Speaking of shit that grows out of the ground, 2015 was also the year in which we saw architect Javier F. Ponce dream up his solution to the swelling issue of food and water scarcity—Smart Floating Farms. What the hell is a Smart Floating Farm? Ponce says they're "automated offshore multi-layer food and energy production platforms." All you really need to know is that these farms are probably going to look a lot like Waterworld—and while Kevin Costner likely won't be involved— Smart Floating Farms could actually become a viable tool in fighting a growing global issue.

Now that we've talked about food production advancements, it'd probably be wise to tackle how and where we're going to buy said food. Earlier this year, we travelled to Milan's World Fair—Expo 2015—to check out a prototype of the supermarket of the future built by Italy's largest supermarket chain and Carlo Ratti, a groundbreaking architect and inventor. Will Gatti's shelfless, robo-centric ode to the future be spot on? We sure hope so.

If you ever wanted to be the next Robert Parker Jr. or Steven Spurrier, you'd probably want to get cracking on that ASAP—because another story we covered this year could instantly turn every jackass with a wine fridge into an expert collector. Researchers at the University College London have actually developed a model that predicts the price fluctuation of fine wines using artificial intelligence. By determining which data is most important in predicting wine prices, the new approach predicts prices with greater accuracy than the leading industry index.

Now that we've told you how to become an oenophile of the future, it'd probably be best to tell you about the future chalice you shall be using to drink your newfound wine. From KFC's edible cookie coffee cups to more practical measures like Harvard professor David Edward's WikiPearls—which are bite-sized food wrapped in edible packages—a seemingly unending explosion of eco-friendly alternatives are beginning to proliferate in the tableware market. Which is obviously a pretty good and sorely needed thing.

What in the hell kind of Best Of list would this be if we didn't top it off with a wee bit of culinary superstardom? Back in September, we were lucky enough to catch up with Andrew Zimmern while he was shooting his show, Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern—Xoxocotlán. While there, Zimmern schooled us big time in not only the need to develop a worldwide appreciation of insects for use as the food of the future, but also in the age-old and storied traditions of doing so that still exist to this day.

All in all, 2015 was a pretty great year for food technology and food-based advancements.