Foto via Flickr-brugeren super45
If you're on the verge of being institutionalized because the media onslaught of thinkpieces about Frank Ocean's new albums has pushed you to the brink of a nervous breakdown, close your eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. Here's some food for thought that isn't about Blond, but about Kanye West's contribution to the past week's Ocean hysteria.When Blond(e) (spellings seem to vary, due to a difference between the official spelling on Apple Music versus the cover art) was finally, finally, finally, seriously released on Saturday, Ocean simultaneously released a visual album called Endless and an art magazine called Boys Don't Cry, which was handed out at pop-up shops in Chicago, London, Los Angeles, and New York. The magazine is a catalog of Ocean's non-musical influences and expressions, spanning more than 300 pages, and includes a buffet of contributions from and musings about other artists ranging from Kanye West to the Beatles to Elliott Smith.Some notes: Per Kanye's writings, one might think of the French fries as the Trump voters of the McDonald's kingdom hierarchy. Individually, they're small and greasy and unimpressive, but together they have power both in numbers and in popularity.It should also be noted that despite the callout in the fourth line, McDonald's doesn't have a salad bar, unless you count experimental locations in Hong Kong and Singapore. If we are supposed to be convinced that Kanye West eats McDonald's with any type of regularity, he should be aware of this. And why would ketchup ever side with a salad bar over their best homies, the French fries?
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One such spread depicts Yeezy himself cruising through a McDonald's drive-thru in a Lamborghini. And being the poet that he is, Kanye also penned a presumably metaphorical poem about the McDonald's menu. It has never been about "dollar items" or "value meals," but about jealousy, artistry, and betrayal. Read it for yourself below if you don't feel like starting an installment plan to pay $38 per month for the next two years to get your hands on a hard copy of Boys Don't Cry.McDonalds Man McDonalds ManThe french fries had a planThe french fries had a planThe salad bar and the ketchup made a bandCus the french fries had a planThe french fries had a planMcDonalds ManMcDonaldsI know them french fries have a planI know them french fries have a planThe cheeseburger and the shakes formed a bandTo overthrow the french fries planI always knew them french fries was evil manSmelling all good and shitI don't trust no food that smells that good manI don't trust itI just can'tMcDonalds ManMcDonalds ManMcDonalds, damnThem french fries look good thoI knew the Diet Coke was jealous of the friesI knew the McNuggets was jealous of the friesEven the McRib was jealous of the friesI could see it through his artificial meat eyesAnd he only be there some of the timeEverybody was jealous of them french friesExcept for that one special guyThat smooth apple pieON NOISEY: Frank Ocean Releases His Long-Awaited New Album, Blond
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French fries are evil. They are the salty, addictive downfall of diets everywhere; the opiate of the drive-thru masses. (But while Diet Coke and McNuggets best watch their backs, the McRib, in all of its elusive and highly coveted glory, probably has nothing to fear.)It's notoriously hard to tell whether Kanye is being tongue-in-cheek in many of his artistic endeavors—this poem included—but if his wife's preferences are indicative of anything, his penchant for McDonald's might be genuine. Kim Kardashian recently wrote on her website about her affinity for the chain's fries and Chicken McNuggets dipped in honey.And for what it's worth, honey-dipped McNuggets are the bomb. Almost made you forget you were reading about Frank Ocean's new album for a second, didn't it?READ MORE: I Found Out What Yeezus Tastes Like