Who wants to go and see the Mormons?

These days, circuses are more about the animals than the bearded child, the twelve-foot transsexual, and the pederast midget. This has left a gawp-shaped hole in the entertainment industry, one which, in America, is currently being filled thanks to Warren S. Jeffs. The recently incarcerated Mormon polygamist leader is the hot shit in America’s tourist industry. Ever since a raid on his Yearning for Zion Mormon ranch last year – which involved the confiscation of over 400 kids following accusations of wacky sexual traditions – the American west has become the epicentre of fundamentalist polygamist tourism. Man, England has such shitty cultural oddities; going to watch morris dancers just isn’t as good as visiting religious rape factories.

After the arrests, a ton of people headed south to check out polygamists in some form of self-righteous voyeurism. Things got busier and busier until two brothers and some former members of a similar Arizonian cult had the enterprising gumption to start regular tours throughout these little backward pockets of the American west, making a buck or two in the process.

Rather than getting pissed off by it though, the Mormons encouraged the trips, claiming the whole voyeur thing was pretty funny – presumably tickling the same famous Mormon sense of humour which was able to laugh off all the rape and incest that went on in Zion. I don’t get it, but then I was raised a Catholic and we’re pretty uptight about sex.

Highlights from "the largest and most secluded polygamist colony" in America include: a seat on a 29-seater passenger bus which travels to and from the site in Arizona, guides who’ll discuss the origins of fundamentalist Mormonism, and the opportunity to take in the town’s famous sites (which include two stores, a church, the community dairy and a picnic). It will set you back $60, but then all profits go back into promoting the unique benefits of Mormonism.

MORWENNA FERRIER