Composite by VICE Staff
Good morning, goblins. We’re proud of you for waking up at 4 p.m. this early post-rave, flossing your teeth with the gender binary, and remembering that Valentine’s Day is just shy of a week away—not that V-Day has to mean something to you or the polycule, but we do implore you to remember what it does mean for horny broke people: an influx of sex toy sales. Along with Ferrero Rocher hearts and natty wines, sex toy prices get scissored during Cupid’s otherwise freezing, boner-deflating month. We’ve already fingered through the Lovehoney V-Day sale, and now we’re strapping in to browse the best sex toys on sale at Wet For Her, a sexual wellness company that was proudly founded by lesbians [honks Uhaul] for the queer community, and for anyone else who decides this is the year they finally start pegging. The deals dripeth at up to 60% off, so we’ve hoisted up our bisexual cottagecore bloomers to bring you the cream of the [redacted] with the best trans-affirming gear, strap-on kits, and vibrators for scissoring that your money can buy. Do you and your partner both have vaginas? This duo of scissoring vibrators is 25% off, and has a few tricks up its sleeve; the vibrator can be worn with either the bulbous, vibrating portion inside for G-spot stimulation—leaving the bendy, vibrating ring to stimulate your vulva—or in reverse (if you’d like the bulbous end stimulating the latter). It has earned a 4.7-star average rating on the site, and, as one reviewer writes, “I have also used it while using a strap-on [...] hands down, this is better than using a bullet vibe with a strap-on.” Plus, it looks like it could be a fish from a Miyazaki movie. Wins all around. Exo was designed to address body dysphoria in the transfeminine community, and the waist harness holds a soft, stretchy sleeve in place over the penis to enable stroking stimulations that one reviewer calls “[the] closest thing to real sex” that they’ve experienced. People outside of the trans community are also enjoying it, with one reviewer named Ray writing, “I’m a guy [who] was looking for something that maybe I could do crunches and take care of myself at the same time [...] I have opened myself up to options of self pleasure.” You go, Ray. Cop it while it’s 15% off. There’s an entire VICE guide to pegging at your disposal this V-Day (and every day), but Wet for Her is coming in clutch with a special harness and dildo combo kit for the occasion. It’s 30% off and has earned an impressive 4.9-star average rating on the site, because it comes with everything you need to start strapping in (the harness fits XS to 5X sizes) and going to Pound Town. Just add water-based lube. Wet for Her is also offering this harness-free, vibrating double-ended dildo at 15% off for your pegging pleasure. The 4.8-star average rated dildo can bring internal, vibrating stimulation to the giver and receiver thanks to the vibrating “bulb” component, and the silicone is soft enough to move ~organically~ with your bodies, but firm enough to stay in place. As one reviewer writes, “[I] seriously can’t stop *******.” Happy V-Day, from our cuddle puddle to yours. Shop the Wet for Her Valentine’s Day sex toy sale here.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals?Sign up for our newsletter.
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This set of scissoring vibrators
Trans-affirming gear
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A full-blown pegging kit
Harness-free pegging
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals?Sign up for our newsletter.