A Man Assaulted a Bus Driver For Trying to Take Away His Kebab

Just a little advice: Do not get between some people and their food. Like a rabid dog with a bloody steak in its fangs, they will not give up.

We told you about the Shanghai woman who, rather than hand over her Rémy Martin XO Excellence to airport security at Beijing's Airport, instead chugged the entire bottle. She was not having any of that "3.4 ounces or under" rule, especially if it meant parting with her $200 bottle of Cognac. If anyone was going to enjoy that fine brandy, it was going to be her.

But some people's standards aren't that high. The Local is reporting that a man in Berlin took to fisticuffs when a bus driver told him that the döner kebab he was so enjoying was not allowed on the bus.

A döner, by the way, is a Turkish sandwich, typically made of thinly sliced, rotisserie-cooked lamb, tomato, onion, pickled cucumber, and seasonings—all tucked into a lavash or pita. It's kind of like a shawarma and is basically the salvation of drunk people the world over.

And the biggest döner fan of all may very well be one gentleman who rides the bus in Berlin. On Wednesday evening, the 57-year-old was enjoying his döner on a bus when the bus driver had to remind him that eating on the bus in Berlin is against the rules. Apparently, the döner was dripping and the bus driver wasn't willing to ignore the situation.

But the döner was, evidently, just so damn good.

At the next stop, the bus driver asked the fellow to give up the döner or disembark. And part with his doner? Not happening.

Instead, the döner-lover tried to hit the bus driver, according to the police. But even the cops couldn't pry this sandwich out of this hungry fellow's hands. They were forced instead to "take him by the upper arms" and drag him from the vehicle.

The bus driver was not amused. He filed an official claim with law enforcement alleging "breach of the peace and bodily harm."

He obviously didn't understand just how life-changing the kebab was.

Does food often spark violence in the Berlin bus system? All a spokesperson would say is that "again and again BVG (Berlin Transport Company) workers call the police because of violence against them." Usually the cause is alcohol abuse or teenagers with a too much time on their hands and testosterone coursing through their veins.

But sometimes a kebab is enough to make a person do terrible, unspeakable things.