David Cross

  • My America

    He still loves fashion.

  • My America

    Happiness is knowing you are never more than twenty miles away from a Hooters.

  • My America

    Valentine’s Day is a much too vivid and unwelcome reminder of what losers we are.

  • My America

    How can you allow yourself to be bored when you’ve got rare, delicious foods being brought to your lips by effeminate Frenchmen?

  • My America

    DRUG WAR ENDS IN HUGE SUCCESS!!! There's a headline you'll never see, unless it's Backwards Day (which I am still trying to get Congress to officially recognize).

  • My America

    Let's stop beating around the bush, I'm famous. Not famous enough to be invited to those parties that Chloë Sevigny gets to go to, where she sits in a corner having her picture taken for obscure magazines. Not that famous, but just famous enough to...