Confessions of a School Dinner Lady

Welcome back to Restaurant Confessionals, where we talk to the unheard voices of the restaurant industry from both the front- and back-of-house about what really goes on behind the scenes at your favourite establishments—or, in the case of today's story, your teenage lunch breaks. Here, we speak to a woman who has worked in the canteen of a Manchester high school for ten years.

For the past ten years, I've been at a boys' grammar school with three separate canteens. I currently run the "Grab and Go" section in the sixth form. Aside from the holidays, the best thing about working in catering within an educational setting is the client. That is, the students. There's always some kind of mischief going on and even first thing in the morning, the pupils are always full of banter.

During breaks, teachers are allowed to push to the front of the queue, which the students are never very happy about. One time, they decided to put laminated signs up all over the canteen saying the teachers should wait in line like the rest of them, which the kitchen staff found hilarious. I have a great relationship with both the teachers and students but I must admit, I've been privy to some of the pranks the boys play on the teachers. I'll never forget when they covered the headmaster's office in tinfoil. Literally every inch of his room was covered, even down to his pens and stapler—it actually looked amazing. Another time, they used cardboard from kitchen supplies to make life-size cutouts of him with his face superimposed. They hung them from all the buildings to make fun of the fact he always seemed omnipresent.

At lunchtime, my menu consists of homemade chicken burgers and hot dogs, barbecue chicken wings, pizzas, freshly prepared sandwiches, toasties, pasta pots, salad, and fresh fruit pots. My other job is to help prepare dishes on the chef's daily changing menu, where meals are more substantial—always including a vegetarian option—and can range from mushroom stroganoff to sweet and sour chicken. We always have a lot of pies, calzones, and pasta bakes, too. A firm favourite on Fridays is fish and chips, and curry is always very popular. We like to include extras like samosas, naan bread, and mango chutney, so the boys feel like they're getting good value for their money. If they don't, they let you know about it!

Because my "clients" are classed as young adults, they're free to choose what they want to eat and generally they avoid anything healthy, but everything is prepared from scratch and batch-cooked, so the food is constantly fresh. Fresh vegetables are always offered as an add-on, too. One thing I have noticed in my ten years of service is the increase in halal meat and how even the younger boys now like coffee.

Although the daily changing menu is ultimately down to the chef and what's seasonally available, the students voice their opinions and we try to take what they tell us into consideration when planning ahead and seasoning the food. On the other hand, our contract is a nil contract, so is basically it's all about profit, which is at odds with always striving to provide good value for money for the students.

Increasingly, we have to find new ways of creating revenue, one of them being private functions. As we're not so used to these yet, there have been some mishaps. One evening, we were putting on an event and at the last minute, we were told the location within the school had changed. We had to transport all the food across the school playground in hot cupboards, which we did on a very cold evening. When we set everything up, the electrics couldn't cope with the equipment. The waitresses had to stand in a line to conceal the mayhem from the guests, while someone else stood by the electricity box to keep turning it back on when it wouldn't stop tripping. On top of all that, the chef had decided to add a "quirky" twist by serving the gravy in teapots. It seemed like a good idea but the kitchen porter got the teapots mixed up in transport and guests were served gravy instead of tea for dessert. Needless to say, the event never got rebooked!

Generally, catering is a very hard business to be in and working in a school is no different. It's long hours and like in most industries these days, when one person leaves, they're not replaced and the work is just shared out among the existing staff. Although increasingly worse conditions cause tensions, I don't see myself leaving. It's a varied job and ultimately it's about the people you work with. My company does catering in hospitals as well as schools, and I know where I'd rather be.

As told to Kamila Rymajdo.