Get Ripped at Muscle Beach with This Summer Seafood

Summer is a time for many things.

It's a time to continually drown yourself in glorious booze for days on end. It's also a time in which you can do things you'd never normally do and not feel like Britney Spears after she shaved her head. That said, summer is primarily a time to eat ungodly amounts of seafood and show off the body that you've been carefully sculpting all winter and spring.

OK, so maybe you haven't been diligently training with the fervor of a bodybuilder, but that doesn't mean you can't hit up the beach and wash away your delusions with enough lobster and mussels to put a few fishermen's children through college.

That's precisely why we here at MUNCHIES have decided to show you how to eat seafood in style with our edible guide to Muscle Beach.

For starters, what are muscles without… mussels? Yes, these glorious, golden little sea treasures are begging to be eaten by the dozens, perhaps with a loaf of crusty bread to drench in the ensuing broth. These bad boys are steamed and then served in a beer broth—but it couldn't hurt to drink a beer with them, too. They'll be worth the extra sit-ups.

But some of us are looking for a little less brewski, a little more Italy with our mussels. The acidity of tomato is a natural fit for serving with the chewy little shellfish, so make these bad boys and throw them in a spicy tomato broth. Mamma mia, indeed.

It's no secret that Action Bronson fucking loves fucking delicious things—including, of course, seafood. He came up with these Mothership Clams Cioppino on the fly, combining the powers of clams with lemon, garlic, and potatoes…

You know what's a great way to get your pecs in shape? Ripping a bunch of lobsters in half. Just do it. Feel free to grunt as you crack that spine. Aaargh! Unffhh!

But then you'll probably be wondering what to do with all of that buttery white meat. For starters, it's pretty damn lovely on its own, with some French fries.

But let's not forget the power of the lobster roll. (Even more powerful, perhaps, than your bench press.) Maine folks have strong opinions about the right way to make one, and for good reason: They're the masters. So let's just go with their recipe, and have a little faith in a New England tradition.

Got buns of steel? How about buns of doughy perfection? (You know, bread.) Take these toasty, creamy, meaty lobster rolls—this is some real Maine food, even though the beaches there are too cold for all-day flexing.

Let's talk about shrimp. None of our bodybuilders are shrimp, but they don't mean that they don't love to eat them. These little buggers are perfect for marinating in citrus, honey, and chilies, then spearing on a skewer of sugarcane and grilling to perfection.

But if you prefer to go head-on—literally—and you can't get your hands on any sugarcane, you can also just cook 'em up whole on regular old wooden sticks, like in this Thai-inspired recipe.

And what should you do with any leftovers? Tuck them into a grilled cheese sandwich, because nothing should go to waste, and nothing doesn't taste good when combined with cheese and bread.

And for lovers of lobster rolls who only have shrimp in hand, we have shrimp rolls that will suit you juuust fine—after all, shrimp's sweet meat deserves to be front and center, too. (Your bulging bicep is the perfect place to stash one of these.)

What better way to finish off our seafood romp than with Action Bronson's recipe for tuna poke? The dish is about a simple as they get, and was inspired by Action's trip to the Kahuku Superette in Oahu, Hawaii. You'd better bet there are some muscles on those tropical beaches—plus a hell of a lot of perfectly marinated fish.

There you have it, friends. Summer just wouldn't be summer if it didn't include copious amounts of seafood and a few well-oiled bodybuilders. Now enjoy your lobster roll, and congratulate yourself for those hard-earned abs.