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Food

Lunch Ladies Are the Unsung Heroes of Schools Everywhere

These five YouTube videos demonstrate that teenagers are still horrible and lunch ladies are the best people in the world. We hope that you were nice to yours.
Image via Flickr user Kevin Makice

After an unfortunate but thankfully brief-within-the-context-of-infinite-time hiatus, Hot Links is back! Keep an eye on MUNCHIES for future installments of your favorite YouTube-trawling food video aggregation column.

These crisp autumn days harken us back to simpler times, our school days of innocence when our biggest concerns were figuring out how to fry ants with a magnifying glass and getting the dust out of our Nintendo cartridges. This era soon gave way to hiding our boners when we had to solve an algebra equation in front of the class and lusting pitifully over upperclassmen of the opposite sex who thought of us as pathetic specks of dirt (if they were even aware of our existence at all). But through it all, there was a figure in our lives who consistently delivered; who understood our needs, banal and ever-present as they might be; who gave us tough love when appropriate, but also glimmers of hope.

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We're referring, of course, to the lunch lady.

The Lunch Lady, as a universal entity, deserves no less than a standing ovation for putting up with staring into our thankless, acne-cobbled little faces day after day, ice-cream-scooping macaroni and cheese and analog renditions of "beef stroganoff" onto our shaky trays. Let's explore some of the ways that these hard-working holders of cafeteria rule are represented and revered in the endless galaxies of YouTube.

In this heartwarming video, a "Brewster woman" is awarded the title of Lunch Lady of the Year. It's unclear who or what is responsible for doling out this label of esteem, and you don't really see the coronation ceremony, but who doesn't love watching someone deserving receive a pleasant surprise? There should be like, 300 million kids if this were to actually represent all of a-hole 13-year-olds who start food fights and bitch about the chocolate milk not being cold enough.

Those Granger High School lunch ladies are redefining PMA. It's impossible not to like this even if you hate Pharrell and His Giant Hat. (One solution to the Pharrell problem is to just mute it and listen to King Crimson or C & C Music Factory instead of their song of choice.) You really get to see every little bit of their operation! This is some behind-the-scenes shit. Love it when they dance with the money, and girl with the broom at 0:32–0:36 and 1:42–1:51 has got it going on. Also, Granger High School must be gigantic because there are like 30 different chicks in this video. Is it too late to go back to 10th grade and try to flirt with these ladies while they're tonging spaghetti and meatballs onto my plate?

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Disregard my above comment. I never want to go back to 10th grade because I never want to subject the world to more 10th-graders like this guy. I hate to be that grown-up saying this, but seriously, kids today are so fucking stupid and this is undeniable proof. I am very glad I escaped high school before the proliferation of smart phones. This kid is a shitty little bully and I hope he has no friends and no one will ever make out with him. This video is just a reminder of how truly crappy, and incredibly mundane, high school was and the insipid lengths teenagers go to to entertain themselves.

As the title of this video suggests, this dancing lunch lady really does serve up some fun. Of all the dancing lunch lady videos I found—and there are many—I think this one has the best vibes. It sounds like Hootie and the Blowfish are covering "Brown-Eyed Girl" in the background, and our star is simply a fun and great dancer. Nice job. The one comment on this upload, from YouTube user "wheaties4me," makes it.

Here's a secret camera shot of a janitor who apparently deserved revenge from his school's lunch ladies—yeah, fuck that guy. Anyways, they Saran-wrapped the hell out of his pick-up truck. He's pretty mad about this. This video is basically a statement on the unimportance of everything in life. You're welcome.