Making sure you get your fix while jet-setting is, like, so totally a drag, right? There are overzealous border agents, everything in your hostel seems to miraculously just "disappear," and given the language barriers, there's no guarantee you won't end up in a shipping container, knee deep in your own piss. Well, as it turns out, Pope Francis may be learning these age-old truths the hard way.The Bishop of Rome and Sovereign of Vatican City has run into a bit of trouble as of late, after Bolivian Culture Minister Marko Machicao revealed that Pope Francis "specifically requested" coca leaves to chew on during his upcoming visit to the country.Pope Francis, as you probably know, is midway through his Latin American pilgrimage and will be touching down in Bolivia today. Bolivia's largest city, La Paz, is the highest capital in the world, with an altitude of almost 12,000 feet above sea level. Visitors to the city often suffer the ills of altitude sickness—but a popular remedy is chewing on the raw ingredient of cocaine, the coca leaf.Many indigenous Bolivians believe the coca bush to be a sacred plant and, as such, making tea from or chewing on its leaves is widely popular in the region. It's also perfectly legal. In fact, Bolivia's 2009 constitution went so far as to declare the coca leaf "a cultural patrimony."Incidentally, this is an awesome time to mention an idea I had for the perfect father-son buddy cop movie: Like Father, Like Nun. Let's just say the protagonists are in the habit of taking down crooked, cross-manufacturing conglomerates. I'll have my people call your people, Hollywood.Anyways, after the announcement of the Pope's "specific request," some back-peddling appears to be happening. All of sudden, it isn't clear if the Pontifex is still planning on getting his Tony Montana on. Chief Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi had this to say: "The Pope will do what he thinks is right." Sounds pretty much like code for "ayo for yayo" to me. Or have I just been watching way too much Miami Vice?The Pope has previously announced that he is against the legalization of recreational drugs. But in Bolivia, coca is an institution. In fact, the president of Bolivia, Evo Morales, used to be a coca grower and Pope John Paul even drank coca tea on a visit to Bolivia in 1988.Mr. Machiacho stands firm: "We will be awaiting the Holy Father with the sacred coca leaf."The Pope may be willing to indulge. After all, he recently tweeted, "stop ruining the garden which God has entrusted to us so that all may enjoy it." That may be code for "pass the coca leaves," don't you think?Regardless of your views on religion and the legalization of controlled substances, we believe one indelible fact is becoming abundantly clear: The Popo? He loves the coco.So next time you hit up the Vatican gift shop, make sure to keep an eye out for any posters of "The Last Upper" and that totally killer "Garden of Weeden" beer koozie.A pope who's down with the devil's dandruff? It's a new day for the Catholic Church.
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