This Biotechnologist Claims to Have Created Anti-Aging Vodka

It's the morning after the night before. You feel your under-eye bags descend further south by the second, as your dehydrated body shrivels under the effects of last night's tequila slammers. A terrifying thought pops into your aching head: Could I be … getting too old for this?

Not if the claims of a Berlin-based drinks company are to be believed. Earlier this week, the worryingly named ANTI EVERYTHING (is that an accidental caps lock or just a really passive aggressive approach to branding?) unveiled its anti-aging vodka, a "revolutionary new beauty drink for the nightlife set."

And you thought coconut water was bad.

According to the official press release, ANTI EVERYTHING vodka is a 16-percent vodka made with caviar collagen, which offers "increased absorption and bioavailability" of collagen, as well as sea buckthorn, a shrub with high vitamin C that "activates the body's own mechanisms for producing collagen." It'll set you back €49.90 (around £38) for four 100-millilitre bottles, but that's a bargain for something that gets you hammered and holds the secret to eternal youth.

In a press statement, Anja Skodda, a self-described "beauty conscious biotechnologist" (is that actually a thing?) and founder of ANTI EVERYTHING explained her motivation for combining hard spirits with dubious dermatology: "Countless nights out with my girlfriends went hand in hand with feeling guilty about overindulging. I wanted to be freed of that feeling and set out to create a drink that combines science with lifestyle for a non-guilty pleasure."

It seems that for Skodda and her gal pals, puking in the work toilets following an ill-advised weeknight out isn't enough of a punishment for boozing. Why not add fretting over premature aging in there, too?

MUNCHIES reached out to Skodda for further insight on how exactly her vodka proposes to deter the aging process. She informed us that her "scientific background" had seen her work "a lot in the field of tissue engineering and the skin structure." She also spent eight years as an events manager.

With that kind of experience in science-y stuff and publicity hype, ANTI EVERYTHING vodka must be legit!

Skodda adds: "ANTI EVERYTHING vodka an alcoholic drink and therefore, we need to not forget to always keep a moderate and controlled alcohol consumption! But if you are out for a drink, why not choose one with additional benefits?"

Or y'know, you could just get an early night and enjoy the proven anti-aging benefits of beauty sleep.