This Goalie Beer Theft Is the Most Canadian Crime Ever

Canadians like hockey and beer. Usually these institutions are kept separate, but, naturally, there is plenty of room for overlap, like drinking beer while watching playoffs on TV or a local team crushing a case of Sleeman in the parking lot of an arena.

But rarely do these Canadian pastimes collide as hard and as hilariously as in the case of beer heist that the CBC (and probably anyone else familiar with the story) is calling the "most Canadian heist" ever—a beer run for the ages—and it was all caught on surveillance video that was recently released by the RCMP.

It's 3:38 AM on August 15, and two men can be seen approaching a beer store in Russell, Manitoba. At first, they look like your run-of-the-mill convenience store robbers, wearing hoodies and baseball caps. But upon closer inspection, it becomes apparent that one of the thieves is in full hockey garb; goalie mask, blocker and trapper gloves, goalie stick, and all.

The two men smash their way through the glass of the store with what appears to be a rock or brick—though the goalie stick would have worked pretty well—and make off with two cases of beer each. Does the goalie man drop his stick while trying to run away with his hands full of beer? No, like any dedicated goaltender, he stays focused and makes a getaway with a case of beer in each hand and his trusty stick under his arm.

Even the RCMP is playing up the insane Canadianness of this crime, entitling the YouTube video "#17 in your program but #1 on the Russell Manitoba RCMP wanted list."

Jokes aside, the jersey number could be the first clue into solving the hockey heist. "The second suspect that followed was dressed as a goalie," the RCMP wrote in a press release accompanying the video. "However, he may have been a defenceman or forward in disguise as he was wearing jersey #17—a non-traditional number for goalies."

The RCMP hopes that this will help narrow down their search and asked for local hockey players to be on the lookout for any suspicious number 17s. "Anyone with information about this theft or has played against a goalie matching this description is asked to call Russell RCMP."