It’s been said that an author of truly unparalleled talent and insight—one able to enlighten the minds of readers everywhere—will only appear once in a generation. After all, the ability to transcend social barriers and dynamic circumstances like race and religion is something many wordsmiths can only dream of achieving. And where does that spark of inspiration, that creative genius come from? No one really knows.
As it turns out, though, Betty just might have such a mind. And thanks to her unique set of circumstances, her eloquent prose is reaching the masses.
Oh, did we forget to mention that Betty is a chicken?
One Western Australia-based barbecue chicken company has taken it upon itself to ensure that Betty—and more importantly, their company—makes it into the Guinness World Records as the first chicken to tweet an actual word in the English dictionary. Chicken Treat is aiming to achieve this monument of historic proportions by putting an unwitting Betty into “Chicken Tweet HQ”—a.k.a. a pretty swank chicken coop with a computer. There, they are hoping she will get her pigeage on all over a keyboard.
That’s right, as Betty walks over the keyboard, the resulting literature is then published to the Twitter feed of @ChickenTreat and marked with the hashtag #ChickenTweet.
1a a 80 vhg q 9.g77 31 1q2wdvhgyflm.p-12v C,MVE35FLL/NQW12YMJ0HH -////=-==-07869T 7654UW7 V 3 CVHBN #chickentweet
— Chicken Treat (@ChickenTreat) October 12, 2015
This shit makes the Shakespeare-centric “infinite monkey theorem” look like a middle-school science fair project in comparison. For the uninitiated, that is the mathematical equation that proves that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter for infinity would eventually type out a particular text, like the works of William Shakespeare. So far, Betty seems to be pretty far from pecking her way to a four-letter word recognized by an English-language dictionary. The only thing Betty is capable of now is achingly insightful prose like this: “XKX BNHVFSE13 X8FGD 3 /P,L,9,I GU90U8BNGFVEĘASDZ EFSZV Q VCW 23QZAWFNJFIPGFB5 1 I PKO0 OLO I0PL A1REG5H K OKMYUT89 9IIO 5 1Q.”
.ma w1 l 14222uop xm///////////////////////// #chickentweet
— Chicken Treat (@ChickenTreat) October 13, 2015
We’re torn between two beliefs: (a) that Betty’s writing is the ranting of a chicken gone mad, or (b) it’s the obfuscated truth to the universe.
Just like any other tried-and-true scribe, Betty halts her work each night as the keyboard is taken from her coop. Even chickens of great genius must rest.
Who can say if Betty, the enterprising chicken, will in fact reach her corporate benefactor’s goals. Maybe Betty the chicken is already sending out intelligible messages in some alien tongue and we’re just blissfully unaware of the avian uprising that is soon to come.
After all, “adfdjfxoih?difos 12u^213j**!”
If you catch our drift.