This Week in Food Porn: Cat Doughnuts and Algae Milkshakes

Pull up a pitta and let your hot sauce down: it's food porn o'clock.

That's right, we can all stop reading A Brief History of Time, building bomb shelters, and finding a cure for scoliosis, for this is that lazy hour in which we shall delight with the best food photos scooped, slopped, and slid onto Instagram this week.

Let your spork hang loose and enjoy.

Mac n' cheese Beyond Meat tacos because we're just loyal like that. #TacoTuesday > #nationalgrilledcheeseday @ashleymcatee

A photo posted by Beyond Meat (@beyondmeat) on Apr 12, 2016 at 11:28am PDT

I may have missed my mother's birthday, I may have misspelled my own name on a postcard and I may have failed to put a bra on since Tuesday but, my friends, I remembered #NationalGrilledCheeseDay. Oh OK, I didn't because it's probably made up, but I do highly approve of a traditional carb 'n' fat-based Latin dish getting merrily thwacked into a corn straitjacket. Because I'm a monster.

What a spread! Anett @anettvelsberg amazes me every time when her pretty and yummy food appears on my screen. Everything looks so easy going and I have the feeling that she is on permanent vacation. Maybe it's because she located in South Africa at the moment. But even back at the days in Scandinavia everything looked bright and fresh! Seriously, I can't decide what I love more and thats why I chose this beautiful photo of hers. It's the perfect combo of sweet and savory. Besides, she publishes her delicious recipes and amazingly styled photos from her food on her lately renewed website, I already fell in love in some of her creations. Now it's time for you to visit her fantabulous feed This is the seventh feature in my #tastylove90k party and I'm so overwhelmed by all your loving support #repost A photo posted by Heike (@tastyasheck) on Apr 14, 2016 at 9:32am PDT

My friend Steve from Huddersfield once told me that a "fruit salad" is what he and his friends called the "display" when they pushed their genitals up against a plate glass window on the highstreet. Yum.

Great value white eggs from the egg stall Pop by & say we sent you #NERMRKT #LYLM2016 #NorthEndRoad #NorthEndRoadMarket #fulham #lbhf #thisislondon #londonmarket #shoplocal #streetmarket #food #foodie #instafood #gastroart #foodphotography #foodpics #ingredients

A photo posted by North End Road Market (@northendrdmrkt) on Apr 14, 2016 at 12:48pm PDT

As a 31-year-old woman with a IUD contraceptive coil may I just say that "egg" and "rustic" hold a somewhat inexplicable joy for me. And "£1.10 for six" is exactly what I shall call my firstborn.

Ocean Inspired Smoothie By @BySaber Simple recipe: For the bottom layer: blend 2 frozen bananas with 1 tsp of blue-green algae powder. For the middle layer: blend 1 frozen banana with ½ tsp of algae. Finish it off with a 1/4 c. thick chilled coconut milk (canned) and coconut shreds. How delightful does this look? Enjoy! #LetsCookVegan A photo posted by Let's Cook Vegan (@letscookvegan) on Apr 14, 2016 at 12:03pm PDT

Oh God, I just love that first rush of blue-green algae powder as it hits your tongue, don't you? Not to mention thick, chilled coconut milk. Mmm. Delicious.

RG @buttymcconville - look! Butty made one of my faves, the leeks vinaigrette from #alotonherplate - so easy, cheap and satisfying. Also a great one for the veggies #vegetarianrecipes #leeks

A photo posted by Rosie Birkett (@rosiefoodie) on Apr 10, 2016 at 8:20am PDT

That is a lot of blue cheese, is it not? I mean, that's quite the eiger of blue mould and white fat. Godspeed you leeky champions.

#cockachino #latteart A photo posted by Freddie Janssen (@freddielookatme) on Apr 12, 2016 at 5:03am PDT

It was a spring day, a day, a day for a lay when the air Smelled like a locker-room, a day to blow or get blown. Returning from lunch I turned my corner and there On a near-by stoop I saw him standing alone.

Well hung, slung from the fork of the muscular legs, The firm vase of his sperm, like a bulging pear, Cradling its handsome glands, two herculean eggs, Swung as he came towards me, shameless, bare.

Thanks Auden, you filthy animal.

今日のパパ弁発見‼️目玉焼きにニッコリ笑顔〜鶏モモチャーシュー カボチャのチーズ焼き 素焼き蕪 目玉焼き 肉団子甘酢あん クルクル竹輪 プチトマト 筍土佐煮 大根葉と鮭の二色丼 #お #パパ #パパ弁 #お弁当 #弁当 #lunchbox #目玉焼き #笑顔

A photo posted by あき (@nico_green_green) on Apr 14, 2016 at 1:10pm PDT

Nothing—and I mean nothing on this earth—finishes a delicious lunch like losing a filling to a wholly unexpected and uninvited block of Lego. Lego. As in, the toy Lego. Gastro-tisans, look upon ye deeds and weep.

Green salad by @elsas_wholesomelife Simple recipe for this green salad: 2 cups spinach, 2 cups kale (sautéed in olive oil), 2 zucchinis spiralised, 1/2 cup broccoli diced, 1/2 cup mung bean sprouts, bunch of asparagus (sautéed in olive oil) 1 avocado rose, 1 tbsp pumpkin seeds, 1 spring onion sliced, 1/2 cup green beans halved, 1/2 cup baby olives, 1/2 cup snow peas sliced, 1 tbsp sunflower seeds, dressed with lemon juice and olive oil. #bestofvegan A photo posted by Best Of Vegan (@bestofvegan) on Apr 14, 2016 at 7:56am PDT

My friends, I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of purest green.

And these are the bebs in their full glory: vegan chocolate fudge tabby cat donuts covered with a salted maple peanut butter cream glaze and with a cacao nib cookie dough bellyThe peanut butter maple cream glaze was a bit too thin, the donuts a bit too dense, so I will work on that - but pretty pleased and had massive fun with the first try! Have a good Thursday, the weekend beckons

A photo posted by Lin(@tumblinbumblincrumblincookie) on Apr 14, 2016 at 4:31am PDT

I hate to sound like a fart-lighting sister of the no-razor brigade but honestly, you can have too much sweetness, surely? I mean, doughnuts? Fine. Sugar? Fine. Pets? Fine—if you want your face to be eaten should you accidentally trip and break your neck. But do we really have to make biscuits exta cute? Can't they just be, you know, biscuity?

Última comida del día, mañana viernes por fiiiiiin y vuelta a los entrenos!!! ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ▪️250g de crema de calabaza ▪️200g de guisantes▪️150g de salmón #IIFYM #Ifitfitsyourmacros #eatclean #diet #Sixpack #Abs #foodporn #macros #carbs #protein #fitboy #eatclean #peanutbutter #cashewbutter #fitfam #fitnessaddict #fitness #gym #Aesthetic #healthyfood #muscle #nutrition #Cheatmeal #Foodlover #flexbowl #gains #powerlifting #foodpic #shredded A photo posted by Alejandro (@gr_alexfit) on Apr 14, 2016 at 12:48pm PDT

Ah, that's more like it. A dimly lit, plastic-hugged high protein meal for one. Power lift my heart to the skies, you muscle-clumped hero.