This Week in Food Porn: Naan Bread and Banana Spring Rolls

I'll love you, food. I'll love you 'til the salty breads turn sweet, and the river jumps over the mountain, and the salmon sing in the street—as W H Auden was too busy with blow jobs to ever actually write.

But summer is well and truly here and all up in our neck creases. So, let us celebrate the sweat-soaked fecundity of the modern plate with a quick whip through some of the best food porn, uploaded to that juddering beast we call Instagram this week.

Octopus with amaranth and purple cabbage jelly & mayo by @lvin1stbite #TheArtOfPlating

A photo posted by The Art of Plating (@theartofplating) on Jul 20, 2016 at 5:48am PDT

Prince isn't dead—he's just plating up lego cubes of cabbage jelly for James Brown, David Bowie, and Cilla Black.

Two favorites in one cake: Tea and Passion Fruit Green velvet matcha cake with passion fruit frosting and curd ! Recipe in my blog: www.elciervo.co . Direct link in my profile. Esp: La receta para este pastel de tercipelo verde y té matcha, con cubierta de queso crema y maracuyá está en mi blog. Link en mi perfil. A photo posted by Julián Ángel (@historiasdelciervo) on Jul 20, 2016 at 11:03am PDT

You know what I love? I just love getting the girls over to watch a couple of Dave Benson Phillips' best of videos over a cup of gunge. Nobody ever eats the green cake, of course, because I always end up accidentally smattering it with moss and bits of old conker. But the gunge goes down a treat, hot or tepid.

* The dish that is cooked most often for dinner at our house ( @kgtaughtme)- a spicy arrabbiata pasta & heaps of basil on top. So quick and sooo flavourful!

A photo posted by anett * (@anettvelsberg) on Jul 20, 2016 at 12:34pm PDT

Sometimes, it can seem hard to carb-load when the sweat off your breasts has created a lagoon around your fly button. But friends, a bit of warm weather is absolutely no reason to take your eye off the starch ball. Take a tip from our friends in Italy and combine perspiring man tits with wheat, egg, chili, tomato, basil, and of course, a toothpick.

Meet our lovely handcrafted cakes where every single bites are warmly baked and served with heart. Sweet Escape cakes are all homemade from fresh and fine quality ingredients. Our cakes range from traditional cakes such as Lapis Surabaya, Lapis Legit, Bolu Keju, and Kue Mocca to modern cakes like Mille Crepes, Nutella Ferrero Cake, Ovomaltine Cake,Kahlua Cake, and many more. #cake #sweet #crepes #baking #food #foodporn #filterstudios #jakarta #indonesia A photo posted by Filter Studios (@filter.studios) on Jul 21, 2016 at 9:36pm PDT

I think I'd rather go for a smear test in a Sports Direct than be the person who came up with the name "Ovomaltine Cake." But, credit where credit's due—these cakes do look like some sort of shuffling deck from Grotbags' poker night and I have now Googled "Lapis Surabaya" to see if it is, indeed, another word for rabbit sorbet.

Banana Spring Rolls- and, no, they're not fried! They're actually baked, #plantbased & #sugarfree, and ridiculously easy recipe will be with you soon. And I hope I'm not spamming y'all with baked spring rolls, but I had to add these to the mix (find out why below) Thanks a bunch to gorgeous Janine @nutsandblueberries for trying out the apple pie version today (yours looked amazing, hun)! So, I was partially raised on yum cha and generally delish Chinese food in China Town where I grew up in Australia (at least 1 day a week we went there as a family). And you know those ubiquitous fried, syrupy bananas with ice-cream that they serve in many a Chinese establishment around the world? Yeah, those. Well, I loved them. And it goes without saying that they are far from healthy. But I had the idea of trying out a version of these spring rolls that could recreate the flavour of those battered, fried, sugary bananas in a slightly more wholesome way. And YAY! Success! The recipes for other variations including apple pie and strawberry & apple spring rolls can be already be found at missmarzipan.com… and rhubarb compote spring rolls (see DIY video a few weeks back), as well as creamy egg-free custard to go along with them. Tried out @josefinesyoga's walking meditation today in my hood. It was interesting to do it in an urban space. Not entirely ideal with boat traffic going by (I live near the water), pushing a buggy and having to dodge people playing Pokemon Go. But there has to be some value in practicing mindfulness in an urban environment. In fact, I think that's where I need to practice it most! Off to the gym now. Catch you later, lovelies. Love Marisa xx

A photo posted by Miss Marzipan (@missmarzipancom) on Jul 20, 2016 at 10:23am PDT

A baked, sugarless, spring roll? Oh, I'm sorry Arnold, I'd love to stay and wrap my mouth around your crumbling fun tubes, but I've just remembered I have to go home and administer heart massage to a tub of geraniums.

No Yeast Whole Wheat Garlic Naan, It's the easiest bread I have ever made. It is No Yeast Whole Wheat Garlic Naan, no proving time, no tandoor/oven and eggless too, still crispy soft and fluffy naan like restaurant. Even though there is No yeast, no egg and yes… not made in tandoor/oven too, still turn out super soft. There are so many yeast free flat bread in Indian cuisine, but naan is a king of flat breads, loved by everyone. I added garlic and chopped coriander in that to make more versatile and flavorful, perfectly goes with any curry, dal or subji. #truecooks #instaphoto #foodcoma #fooddiary #foodspotting #foodshare #foodart #foodforfoodies #foodoftheday #foodstyling #foodism #foodaddict #foodography #foodtime #eatclean #eathealthy #eatwell #eatright #eatingclean #eatinghealthy #eatgood #eattherainbow #eatrealfood #eatstagram #yummi #instadaily #instagood #instamood #instacool #hautecuisines A photo posted by Binjal Pandya (@binjalsvegkitchen) on Jul 21, 2016 at 9:35pm PDT

Me and the lads, right, Kenny and Dez and Big Paul, we was all out for a big one. Dez's getting his electronic tag off on Thursday and Ken's had that ingrown hair excavated, so we went off down The Moon Lagoon. But you know Big Paul, can't take yeast, not since Linda. So I was like, don't worry BP you rolling prick, I'll just bring a Tupperware with some of Binj's yeast-free fuckers and we'll be laughing. Ended up in a lift at the NCP carpark by 2 AM but it was well worth it.

WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE HEALTHY TREAT? Snack attack One of many privileges that come with owing a fridge/freezer, is that you can make healthy snacks in bulk, and store them for times of need We've been playing around with a variety of flours, and created some gluten-free donuts using @healthandharvest tigernut flour , and topped with lemon icing ️Recipe coming soon. It's pretty darn crazy, the amount of variety we have at our disposal: it seems almost never ending. If you're wondering why we use such a huge variety of nuts, seeds, flours, and ingredients in our food- it is not because it's on trend. Rather, Every plant food has a unique variety of nutrients, and that's reason enough for me. Mix it up to ensure you get a variety of plant based nutrients, and your body will benefit

A photo posted by Kath And Jade. (@panaceas_pantry) on Jul 20, 2016 at 2:29am PDT

I've said it before and I'll say it again—it is not the gluten in your deep-fried, sugar-coated snack that is the problem. It's the enormous stalks of lavender you're using to brush out your intestines with afterwards.

This weekend I'm making this delicious mushroom pate! Recipe from #thegoldendoor #cookbook sooooo good!! #food #foodstyling #foodphotography #heathyfood #healthy #foodstylingphotography A photo posted by Ainsley Johnstone (@ainsjohnstone) on Jul 21, 2016 at 8:59pm PDT

If you're not serving your mushroom pâté with a small collection of recently removed tonsils then you're doing brunch wrong.

Corn with nduja @xiringuito_margate

A photo posted by Freddie Janssen (@freddielookatme) on Jul 20, 2016 at 9:53am PDT

My father once laid a bet with his friend Davos, when they were living in Sydney, that he couldn't eat enough sweet corn for his faeces to reassemble into a fully formed corn cob. My father won that bet but I think that as the recipient of that story, we're all winners.

#food #foodporn #buzzfeedfood #delish #icecream #life #lifestylephotography #canon #dslr #dslrphotography #foodstyling #foodiegram #foodiesofinstagram #instagram #good #thelafotografa #cone #moments A photo posted by LA Fotografa | Brittanie Renoj (@thelafotografa) on Jul 21, 2016 at 8:57pm PDT

OK, I get it. It's hot. Too hot to walk up stairs, let alone do any serious exercise. And yet this heat has made me hornier than a toad in an antler farm. So if that means changing my bedding every night, then that is what I'll do. And, what the hell, afterwards we can all go get ice cream.