this week in Florida
A Violent Stripper, a Crazy Naked Man, and 4,000 Pounds of Cocaine
Police responded to a call about a naked man on a Tarpon Springs golf course. But when they got there, the golf course was bare, too. The naked man attacked a 7-Eleven clerk and led cops on a car chase before being apprehended.
Titty Twisters and Striptease Turkeys
Sorry I went Earl Sweatshirt on you for a few months. But I'm back. You haven't missed much—just babies getting their nipples twisted off, strip clubs giving away turkeys, a ton of cocaine, and ladies riding manatees.
Square Groupers and Manatee Orgies
It was a big week for Florida, with voter fraud, donkey fucking, 15-pound bricks of weed, and marine scientists pleading with Floridians to stop interrupting manatee orgies. Tempting though it may be.
This Week in Florida - Citrus Herpes, Pill Doctor Sex Parties, and Some Good News for Once
In 2000, in a supposed effort to curb the spread of a fruit-blemishing disease called canker, the Department of Agriculture sent Citrus Stormtroopers to bully their way into citizens’ yards and cut down their citrus trees regardless of whether or not...
This Week in Florida - Tampa Police Pretty Sure Republicans Like Prostitutes
Tampa strip clubs and hookers are expecting big business during convention week. In anticipation of this, Tampa police mounted (no pun intended) an undercover crackdown on prostitution in 12 area strip clubs, resulting in 16 arrests.
This Week in Florida - Spain, You Can Have it Back
Every year around this time, the US looks for the damned receipt and hopes Spain has a 200-year return policy.
This Week In Florida - Beware the Man with a Tanning Bed in His Barn
His operation is probably not on the level.
This Week in Florida - More Zombies and Molesting the TSA
People in Florida are still eating each other. They're also feeling up TSA agents now.
This Week in Florida - Public Masturbation and Girlfriend Arson
If you want a sneak peek at what twisted fate will befall America in the decade to come, look no further than Florida.