Please Don't Chug Beer Through Your Nose OK

If there’s anything college students are good at, it’s inventing new and exciting ways to drink beer, from shooting the boot—sipping suds from a disgusting, used rugby cleat—to Beerios-ing, a.k.a. dowsing your morning cereal in ale. While attending college ( gulp) a decade ago, I certainly participated in some stupid-but-classic beer-drinking games like beer pong and flip cup, but I was still shocked to discover a next-level revolting method for quickly chugging a beer: through one’s nose.

Early yesterday morning, local North Carolina television station Sports Channel 8 tweeted a video of an East Carolina University football fan drinking a can of beer through his nose. The unnamed doofus, who was attending the Greenville university’s Saturday home game against Norfolk, Virginia’s Old Dominion University, is clad in an ECU polo shirt and holds his right nostril shut with one hand while pouring a Bud Light—of course—into his left nostril. As the malty elixir drains through his nasal cavity and into his throat, he makes some disturbing fish-out-of-water swallowing motions which, appropriately, appear to elicit horror in a nearby small child. “Never change, ECU. #nosechug,” Sports Channel 8 captioned the video.

Since the tweet, the video has gone modestly viral; it’s been viewed about 30,000 times and even garnered a write up by the Raleigh-based daily The News & Observer . The article noted Twitter reactions ranging from enthusiastic (@GCrouseECU: “Not all heroes wear capes”) to skeptical (@PorkhD: “I’ll pay for my future child to go to school anywhere in the world except for ECU.”).

Fortunately, clicking on the hashtag #Nosechug leads to only a handful of results; unfortunately, one of them is a 2016 video of an apparent college kid nose-chugging Jagermeister while his friends say stuff like, “Yuck, dude, you’re fucking gross!” (Touché.)

But an internet search reveals that nose-chugging is, in fact, kind of a thing. About 20 videos of the technique show up on YouTube; in one, a Chinese man in a banquet hall performs the feat to enthusiastic applause; in another, Green Bay, Wisconsin bar owner Chris Hansen busts out the trick in front of a national audience on a 2007 Late Show with David Letterman appearance. In perhaps the most troubling, and yet most ingenious, video, a YouTube user called “the LA Beast” rapidly nose-chugs six Coronas using a tricked-out power drill adapted with a section of garden hose and a nasal tube.

Elsewhere on the web, a step-by-step nose-chugging guide can be found on the how-to site instructables.com. “How to Drink Beer Through Your Nose” has been viewed almost 15,000 times and has received 55 comments, like this one from RichardS185:

“So I have done this multiple times probably close to 100 when I was in college many years ago. I have survived without any complications. I guess I was lucky.”

Indeed, he was. The guide cites drowning and yeast infection of the sinuses as possible risks of this style of drinking, and we’d like to add another one to the list: finally revealing yourself, to your friends and loved ones, as the total ass they’ve always suspected you to be.