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Food

Would You Eat the Sandwich That's Trying to Be Trump's Hair?

What makes The Donald Trump sandwich exceptional, though, is that it nails DT’s coiffure. Atop the roll is a nauseating clump of corn husk silk.
Photo via Flickr user Gage Skidmore

Bruce Derrick, who owns Crabapples Delicatessen in Frederick, Maryland, has developed a nightmare-inducing sandwich called "The Donald Trump"—and it bears an oddly off-putting resemblance to the Republican nominee for president, especially in the hair department. Derrick may have cracked the code on one of the more important mysteries of recent times: What in the fuck is with Donald Trump's hair?

Derrick told local press that he often develops sandwiches inspired by people in the news. At one time he sold a Clinton sandwich, in honor of then-President Bill. Now there's The Donald Trump. "People come in and they expect me to do things like that. It is part of our tradition," he said. A sandwich inspired by Hilary is in the works.

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What makes The Donald Trump sandwich exceptional, though, is that it nails DT's coiffure. Atop the roll is a nauseating clump of corn silk.

Derrick said that when he was contemplating how to make a sandwich that would evoke the true spirit of the former reality show star, he came to this conclusion: "You know what would really look good is corn husk, for the hair. It is the right color; it is the fluffiness of it all."

The topping is not the only part of the sandwich that resembles the man. Turns out it's filled with "two types of baloney and spiced ham," Derrick says with a wink and a nod.

Trump's hair has long mesmerized the public. Is it real? Is it dyed? And if it's a frosted comb-over, how in the hell does it stay in that tortured position? Now we know it could be corn silk sewn into The Donald's gourd.

But, then again, maybe not. July may well go down in history, not just as the month Trump was awarded the Republican nomination, but also as the period in which we, the American public, got real, solid information about what's up with Trump's hair.

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Just two days ago, Amy Lasch, a hairstylist who worked with Trump on The Apprentice during its early seasons, came forward and revealed what she says is the truth about the swoop.

His hair is real, Lasch says—no plugs—but it's waxed and gelled within an inch of its life. Lasch told The Daily Mail that she believes the dye job—which she calls a "calamity"—is done by a member of his team in secret: "The color was so inconsistent. It was not done correctly." Lasch also said that Trump was hesitant to let her near his hair, but "I did comb the back and did the sides a bit." Her report? "Everything was solid. It was matted to stay put. I tapped it with my comb and it would bounce back."

Not exactly the silk from a corn silk. But now we know that stuff does make a pretty good stand-in for the real, mysterious thing.