Tories Make Saddest Attempt Ever to Engage Young Voters with ‘Love Island’ Water Bottles

Hello, youth of today! I hear you like, um, the telebox show where “fit” young lads and ladesses come together to meet. It’s like [looks at hand] Tinder and Big Brother all mixed in one, and do not get me started on Jessica!! I mean, Georgia!! Did someone say “loyal”? Hahaha. Wow. Also, please vote for the Conservative party in the next general election and we promise to give you this nice Love Island water bottle. Please.

The Conservative party has always struggled to attract young voters, what with its damaging policies that directly affect young people, like raising tuition fees or freezing minimum wage for under-21s. This means that it must occasionally resorts to desperate measure to appeal to the “the youth.” Desperate measures, like offering Love Island-themed water bottles to lucky competition winners.

According to the Evening Standard, earlier this week the Conservative party announced a competition on its website to celebrate the final of ITV’s hit reality show, Love Island, by offering personalised water bottles to randomly selected winners. The bottles would allegedly come brandishing a variety of slogans, with one shown sporting the words, “Don’t be mugged off by Corbyn.” What utter bants!

“Yeah that’s right – we’re giving away Love Island water bottles for the final (obviously),” read a post on the official Conservative party website shortly before yesterday's final. “Some with a political twist, some not so much.”

“Either way you’re going to be staying hydrated. With just a limited number available, winners will be chosen at random,” it continued. “So don’t miss your chance to get yours.”

In another strange turn of events in this bizarre dystopia we call “Britain”, the party couldn’t even deliver on its weird water bottle promise. According to the Guardian, the Tories were later made to remove the competition from their website, as the product may have breached ITV’s copyright.

ITV couldn’t confirm whether this was the case, but told the newspaper that “official Love Island water bottles are only available via the Love Island app and shop.”

Many on Twitter were quick to see the absurdity of the Tories' stunt. One user wrote: “Only people mugging young people off are Tories: £9,250 uni tuition fees, scrapped the maintenance grant, scrapped EMA, only earn a so-called 'living wage' when you're 25, extortionate rent and a mental health crisis exacerbated by NHS cuts,” while another tweeted: “What fresh hell is this?”

Muggy af.