This ‘Come Fuck Me’ Pasta Recipe Is Going Viral for All the Wrong Reasons

It sounds more like a sleep-inducing pasta roofie than an aphrodisiac.

Sep 1 2016, 11:00am

Asparagus, oysters, Chinese bull penis, goat soup, and Come Fuck Me Penne à la Vodka.

All of these foods have been associated with increased libido but only one finds its cultural roots in the Manhattanite dinner parties of the 90s. Can you guess which one?

No, it's not the bull penis. The correct answer is the Come Fuck Me Penne à la Vodka, a pasta recipe published by Refinery29 that quickly went viral after promising a "100 percent success rate" for women apparently lacking self-confidence and need to cook for men to get laid.

Come Fuck Me Penne à la Vodka, a mouthful in more ways than one, was conceived by and for straight women only—specifically, the "single women of Manhattan." And while most claims of food making people horny have been met with skepticism and reports of spotty (at best) efficacy, this penne dish is the only one we know of that guarantees a "100 percent success rate" for those who make it.

READ MORE: The Test of Timeless Aphrodisiacs

Combine all of these factors with plenty of dramatic caps lock declarations and awkward sexual anecdotes from its author, Cole Kazdin, and you have a very easy target for online criticism.

"They reported back unexpected correlation between the penne and sex—great sex. They began using it as a seduction and reporting back a 100% success rate. They shared it with friends, who then shared it with their friends, and the recipe worked its way through the single women of Manhattan."

What is Come Fuck Me Penne à la Vodka, exactly? The short answer is a pretty unremarkable vodka penne recipe, made with an entire box of penne, lots of vodka, butter, cheese, olive oil, and to be served with red wine. While these heavy ingredients sound more like a sleep-inducing pasta roofie than an aphrodisiac, Kazdin swears by their magical alchemy.

"The second time was with a guy I had already slept with, but the post-penne sex was 1,000 times better than any sex we'd had before, which was odd because it really is a heavy dish, and it kind of sits in your stomach."

But if you're thinking "placebo pasta," just look at the testimonial evidence offered by Kazdin as she recounts the first time she heard about it, a scene which reads like a piece of Sex and the City fan fiction.

"'Have you tried Come Fuck Me Penne à la Vodka?' another woman asked, taking a sip of her wine. The woman shook her head. 'I'll send you the recipe — make it on the third date. Done deal.'"

The secret, according to Kazdin, is to not deviate whatsoever from the original recipe, because nothing gives a man a boner like a woman who obsessively adheres to a recipe in fears of not getting laid. Pass the vodka.

"DO NOT IMPROVISE. Seriously. No one knows exactly how it works. Personally, I think it's adding the butter and parmesan to the hot noodles while they're still in the colander, BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE. Just stick to the recipe, and make sure you're ready."

Needless to say, parallels have been drawn between Come Fuck Me Penne à la Vodka and the equally dubious Engagement Chicken dish developed by Glamour fashion editor Kim Bonnell, which also became the talk of the town for single Manhattan women in the 80s. The roasted chicken dish supposedly led to four different women at the Glamour office (and 70 other unrelated women) being proposed to by their eager, spellbounds boyfriends.

Effective or not, these recipes and wive's single women's tales say more about being single in Manhattan than they do about the aphrodisiac qualities of pasta sauce.