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Food

A Pizza-Hating Couple Tried to Shut Down Their Neighborhood Pizzeria

Last week, a judge from Sweden’s land and environment court brought the gavel down and ruled against the pizza-hating couple—they were not happy with the outcome.
Photo via Flickr user Simon Doggett

Who wouldn't want to live next to a pizzeria?

The savory smell of cooking dough, burning wood, and the slow sear of toppings can induce hunger in almost anyone. Almost.

READ: Why I Hate Pizza

Last week, reports emerged of a Swedish couple trying to have their local pizzeria closed down, according to The Local. The couple even claimed one million kronor, or $117,451, in damages, arguing that the smell of pizza and increased traffic outside their home had made life unbearable for them.

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It wasn't always this way for the pizza-afflicted pensioners. Twelve years ago, before the arrival of the pizza joint, the neighbourhood was not plagued by the hunger- and anger-inducing odors of fresh pizza. But as soon as the pizzeria opened its doors, it drew the ire of a very persistent couple who took to the courts to try to have it shut down for good.

Last week, a judge from Sweden's land and environment court brought the gavel down and ruled against the pizza-hating couple—they were not happy with the outcome. "You can't live like this. We can't stand it any more," the wife told local paper Kvällsposten after the decision. "We really don't like the smell of pizza. It's pure shit in our opinion."

READ: Pizza Rivalry That's Keeping a Dying Beach Community Afloat

Them be fightin' words. While there is no doubt that people who don't like pizza are often misunderstood and treated like pariahs, the fact is that there are a lot more people who do like pizza. Ultimately, the judge in this case found that any inconvenience the couple may have experienced did not justify closing down a thriving pizza business.

Despite the court having the final word on this matter, the couple insisted that they will continue to seek redress and get their one million kroner. "If we get one million kronor we'll buy the whole shebang and tear down the building. Then we'll plant potatoes on the land," she told Kvällsposten.

Underlying their hate for dough, cheese, and tomato sauce seemed to be some kind of meatball-based Swedish hyper-nationalism. "Nowadays we never eat pizza, it's a complete sham. It's sandwiches with toppings that you can easily make yourself. We would rather eat meatballs and other real food instead," the scorned pensioner told Kvällsposten.

Perhaps this couple would be happier living next to a surströmming plant.