A 'Museum of Pizza' Is Coming to New York to Ruin Your Instagram Feed

As if the Museum of Ice Cream wasn’t enough, what seems to be yet another vaguely food-related playground for wannabe Instagram influencers will be descending upon New York City. Get ready for the Museum of Pizza, set to go live between October 13 and 28 of this year at a currently undisclosed location in New York City before it terrorizes the rest of America. If this sounds like your jam, presale tickets are available here.

It’s unclear how much actual food factors into this Museum. As Eater NY, who called the museum “kind of sexual," points out, patrons are at least "entitled to one free slice." Gee whiz, one whole slice?

The Museum of Pizza is the work of Nameless Network, a youth-oriented media company. Tickets cost $35 for adults, while they're free for children ages 3 through 12 (as long as they're accompanied by a legal guardian) and seniors age 60 and over. After all, the Museum of Pizza promises to be fun for everyone. It’s a truth evident in this vaguely NSFW promotional video, below, in which almost every age demographic aside from “toddler” gets a place in the sun:

God, I’m so tired.

The Museum's Instagram account is also dripping with coital charge; click at your own discretion. If you cruise the website, you may be delighted to find some enchantingly lunatic copy, like:

• "All art starts from restless dreams, and The Museum of Pizza is no different."
• "The snackable luxury whose appeal is universal. Like a best friend, pizza is fun, reliable, consistent, flexible and unselfish."
• "Pizza's f*cking amazing—always has been, always will be. But its also more than a tasty epiphany of cheese, dough and sauce—it's a uniter, a universal language, a cultural exclamation point."

What could any of this mean? I've been trying to make sense of this promotional material all day and furiously rubbing my temples in frustration.

"Pizza is more than a food—it’s a cultural phenomenon that transcends geography and language," Kareem Rahma, CEO of Nameless Network and founder of the Museum of Pizza, wrote MUNCHIES over email on Thursday. "With the Museum of Pizza, we’re combining our passion for storytelling and pop culture to fuel discovery, friendship, art, music, and selfies. Lots of selfies."

As the site explains, the Museum will feature, an artists' “gallery”, a pizza cave, a pizza fun house, "Pizza Zen” (???), the "official #MoPi Pizza Films screening room and media lab,” and other experiences. Especially disorienting may be the fact be that the “A” in pizza in the logo is upside down, making the Museum's name appear to be “Museum of Pizzv.” (We get it, it's supposed to look like a slice or something. But very confusing!)

As Eater NY notes, the museum bills itself as "the world’s first and only immersive art experience celebrating pizza,” a somewhat dubious claim considering the existence of pizza museums far and wide. When asked to address what made the Museum make such a bold claim at all, a spokesperson clarified that it is actually New York's first pizza museum.

Anyway, I’m inclined to say this Museum may turn out to be a colossal waste of money, but what the hell do I know? I don't mean to be too glib; after all, the very concept of "sexy pizza" is one I can cosign heartily.

It's just, well… you can always take sexts with a box of Ellio’s for much cheaper than $35!