Swedish Woman Completely Flips Out, Lands in Jail Over Pancetta in Bolognese Sauce

After yelling, “You can have your fucking pancetta,” she tossed a plate in the direction of her boyfriend’s eyebrow, where it made contact.

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Sep 9 2016, 5:00pm

Please. Don't blame the Bolognese.

If your shitty boyfriend disinvites you to a birthday party for his son, all because his family says they don't want you there, don't hurl a plate of spaghetti Bolognese at his head. And—above all else—don't tell him the reason you are furious is because the sauce contains some pancetta.

We're all pretty sure we know why you're mad. No need to attack the Bolognese or one of its traditional ingredients, pancetta.

We raise this issue because the aforementioned scenario is exactly what went down last April in a small town located in the Gislaved municipality of southern Sweden. That's right: Not only did this not happen in Italy, there weren't even any Italians involved.

READ MORE: Italians Outraged Over New York Times' Bastardized Bolognese Recipe

And now a woman has been sentenced to a month in jail because, after yelling, "You can have your fucking pancetta," she tossed a plate in the direction of her boyfriend's eyebrow, where it made contact. She claimed she was enraged to find pancetta in her Bolognese; she has now been convicted by the Jönköping District Court for assault.

Here are the facts: We know that the couple had been enjoying a meal with alcohol. We know that after the event, the man called the police from the garden where, according to The Local, he said the strike to his head left him dazed. He also said he didn't really know whether it was theBolognese—or the family dispute—that angered his girlfriend.

Like the epistemological philosopher king known as Justin Bieber, the man was left thinking, "What do you mean?"

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Perhaps he was right to wonder. The Italian sauce from Bologna has been known to incite controversy. Some say chicken livers belong in the sauce, while others say red wine—not white—is essential. And who can forget when The New York Times published a white, tomato-free Bolognese recipe? All hell broke loose and then some. People do feel strongly about what goes into their Bolognese, but it seems downright odd to take offense at an ingredients appearing in a majority of traditional recipes.

It seems that Bolognese is the scapegoat of the Italian sauce pantheon. It's the dog who ate your proverbial homework. The little brother who broke mom's vase.

But, damn, it sure does taste good.

So lay off the sauce, guys. It didn't mean to hurt anyone.