Why North Korea's Restaurant Business Is Bombing

Running a restaurant in 2016 is a damn tough prospect. Hell, some would say the act is akin to declaring oneself about as lucid as a tissue-box–clad Howard Hughes. Chocolate-loving titans of industry aside, even an entity as seemingly batshit as the state of North Korea has trouble standing the unfaltering heat of the proverbial kitchen.

After all, quite a few outposts of the Hermit Kingdom's infamous state-run restaurants have recently begun to close in the face of dwindling business. United Press International reports that declining patronage by South Koreans and other Asian tourists to the state-run restaurants in China, Malaysia, and elsewhere—which are largely seen as a novelty or gateway into the culture of the isolationist nation—have directly led to the recent closings.

Take for example, Pyongyang Koryo Restaurant in Yangon, Myanmar's largest city. Following the South Korean embassy's advisement that South Korean nationals should avoid the establishment, sales began to dwindle. One South Korean living in Yangon told Radio Free Asia that the advisement had led to such a decrease in revenue for the restaurant that it could no longer afford the exorbitant rent that came with having the eatery in a former city hall building.

At least three North Korean–run restaurants in Dandong, China (out of the fifteen there) are reported by UPI to have just recently closed as well.

Even popular North Korean dining establishments that seem to be doing well are closing their doors. UPI reports that despite having a steady stream of tourists from nearby Macau, one North Korean restaurant in the southern Chinese city of Zhuhai recently closed.

The sudden drop in visits to the restaurants by tourists is largely attributed to North Korea's recent less-than-friendly nuclear stance. In February, that nation began launching long-range rockets—just one month after testing a nuclear device. The international community—and especially South Korea—wasn't amused. Sanctions were imposed by the UN Security Council. The worse news for North Korea, however, may be that expatriate and traveling South Koreans are avoiding their formerly popular restaurants.

Now there's a novel reason for a restaurant closing: "nasty nuclear weapon policy of owner."

The recent shutdowns could also be seen as an attempt to clamp down on foreign holdings following the defection of 13 North Koreans who are reported to have worked at a North Korean restaurant in Zhejiang.

Maybe Kim Jong Un could get some much-needed industry tips from Gordon Ramsay. At the very least, we're sure they could benefit in some manner from DJ Khaled's "Keys to Success."