Why One of the World’s Best Bars Serves Shitty Beer

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Why One of the World’s Best Bars Serves Shitty Beer

“There’s no specific reasoning—it’s just that we enjoy it,” says Attaboy's Sam Ross. “It’s just crappy in the best possible way.”

I'm eavesdropping on what appears to be a first date at Manhattan's Attaboy, one of the 50 best bars in the world. The guy has been bogarting the conversation since the couple sat down, and he chimes in first when the bartender, Attaboy co-owner Michael McIlroy, comes around to take their order.

"What do you have on tap?" he asks.

"Do you see any taps?" says McIlroy.

Behind McIlroy, there are, in fact, no taps. McIlroy explains to the guy how the bar works, but I'll take it back a step back further.

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All photos by the author.

To get into Attaboy, first you ring a doorbell at the bar's barely marked storefront. A host will greet you, ask how many people you have in your party, and give you a wait time. Don't get put off by the process—they're not trying to be dicks.

Once you get inside sometime later (you could wait minutes or hours, depending on how busy the bar is), you'll see that the place is tiny. It's reminiscent of intimate bars in Tokyo; only about 25 people can sit at a time. There just isn't room for everyone.

The next step is to get yourself a drink. Don't ask for menus; like beer taps, there aren't any. Every cocktail is made to order, specially shaken or stirred based on your personal preference. Sit back and let the bartender take the wheel. They're good at this kind of thing.

A bespoke cocktail at Attaboy.

If you're really not feeling a cocktail, Attaboy does offer other options.

"We have very minimal beer at Attaboy. Our numbers are in the vicinity of 98-percent cocktails, 2-percent beer and wine," co-owner Sam Ross says.

While they do serve a couple bottles—a kolsch and a craft IPA—the bigger beer seller is the canned Coors Banquet.

"Because we're open until 4 AM seven nights, we always get a good industry crowd," Ross says. "Generally speaking, we don't want super-nerdy beers after a long shift. We want something cold and fizzy. Our late-night industry crowd, they want daiquiris, dark and stormies, an old fashioned maybe. They want a shot of whiskey, a shot of tequila, and something cold and crappy—and that's that can of Coors Banquet."

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The industry beer of choice.

Even though the date bro next to me asked for draught beer, McIlroy didn't offer him Coors Banquet.

"If someone asks what beers we have before 1 o'clock, and we get a sense that they're not really industry, we don't even really advertise that we've got it. If they come in early and they want a beer option, we'll tell them about our two delicious bottles," Ross says.

"The industry that come in late know we got it and they order it."

Attaboy staff watch for guests waiting outside.

Industry spans to the Attaboy staff, too.

"Obviously we're industry as well, and that's what we want after a ten-hour shift," Ross said.

"We'll make a round of dark and stormies with fresh ginger juice as the staff drink of choice during a shift, but after we'll crack some beers and have a little whiskey on the side. That's very much the wind-down."

Coors Banquet isn't actually Ross' first choice in shitty beer offerings.

"If I can get cans of Melbourne Bitter, that's the original crappy beer from where I'm from. I would totally get cans of Melbourne Bitter," he says.

With the Australian lager out of the question, Ross defaulted to Banquet.

"There's no specific reasoning—it's just that we enjoy it," he says. "It's just crappy in the best possible way."

This first appeared on MUNCHIES in April 2017.