7-Eleven Will Now Deliver You a Date Night Pack with Ice Cream and Condoms

The convenience store chain wants to gear you up for a night of Ben & Jerry's, Red Bull, and safe sex. So, wanna hit 7-Eleven before Netflix and chill?

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Sep 10 2015, 10:00pm

Photo via Flickr user Mike Mozart

7-Eleven wants to improve your dating life. Or at least get you laid. Proving that they are definitely not romantics at heart, the global convenience store chain is steering clear of roses and champagne and going straight to business.

The company has just announced that they are creating 7-Eleven Date Night Pack.

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Its sultry contents? A tub of Ben & Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, a Hershey's milk chocolate bar, a can of Red Bull, an 18-piece pack of Trident gum, and a three-pack of Trojan Ultra Thin condoms.

We ask you this, 7-Eleven: Was the trademark for "Booty Call Pack" already taken? Also, is the ice cream an amuse-bouche, or do you eat it after your bouche is amused?

Oh well. At least we can rest assured that these are the greatest aphrodisiacs to be assembled by man.

7-Eleven says the new Date Night Pack will "redefine convenience," and we'd have to agree. Nothing says je t'aime quite like a vat of Rock Bottom Rocky Road and an unending river of nacho cheese.

The pack will retail for $20, along with a $2 fee for delivery, which will be provided by a company named DoorDash. "By working with DoorDash, we can bring on-demand delivery to more people and more places," Raja Doddala, 7-Eleven's vice president of innovation and omnichannel strategy, explained in a statement.

Also available is a $15 Hangover Pack, complete with extra-strength acetaminophen, a 25-ounce fruit punch Gatorade, a large pepperoni pizza, and a smoked turkey and pepper jack sandwich to aid you in attempting to erase a night of heavy drinking. That, or to put the final cheesy nail in your coffin. Which, did we mention, looks like one of those heated hot dog rollers?

The partnership with DoorDash will bring delivery service of 7-Eleven's date pack to five cities: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Washington, DC, and Boston.

If your idea of the ideal date night doesn't consist of Red Bull and cookie dough ice cream, fear not, noble friends. When asked whether Slurpees or alcohol would soon be available for delivery, a 7-Eleven spokeswoman named Margaret Chabris said this, "We're working toward that, but we're not there yet."

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Now, that's a date. I mean, who the hell wouldn't want the slushy distillation of a "solar flare" as your trusty wingman? Maybe those "Netflix and chill?" texts will soon be replaced by "7-Eleven Date Night Pack and Chill?"