A North Carolina City Banned This Halloween Candy Because 'No One Likes Them'

“It's not so much peanut butter hate as it is hate against a really all-around terrible candy,” a city spokesperson told us.

|
Oct 26 2018, 10:28pm

Several years ago, an organization called Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) partnered with the Food Allergy Community of East Tennessee (FACET) to increase the reach of a program they called the Teal Pumpkin Project. Those who wish to participate are encouraged to place a teal pumpkin—the color of food allergy awareness—beside their door to let allergic trick-or-treaters know that if they ring that doorbell, they’ll be getting non-food treats.

Although FARE says that peanut is one of the most common allergens, when High Point, North Carolina banned its citizens from handing out peanut butter kisses this Halloween, it wasn’t for health reasons: It’s because they suck.

In a Facebook post, the City of High Point Government pretty much said that it didn’t want to see a single orange or black wrapper this year. “Alright everybody, we're giving you a one-week notice as you prepare for trick-or-treaters to remind y'all that by order of the City of High Point Emperor of Acceptable Candy (it's a real thing), these are banned,” it wrote. “No one likes them, don't give them out.”

OK, yes, it’s clearly a joke, and the Guilford County Jail isn’t going to be filled with sixtysomethings who decided to share their stash of Necco peanut butter chews. But they are one of the most cursed candies that a kid could find in his or her plastic pumpkin; the News & Observer reports that peanut butter kisses were ranked the fifth-worst Halloween candy in a survey conducted by CandyStore.com. (The absolute worst of the worst? Circus peanuts.)

But in the comments on its post, the City of High Point defended another awful Halloween option, candy corn. “Just bring your candy corn to City Hall and I will gladly take [it] off your hands, as a service to our fine residents who for some reason don’t like such a quality Halloween candy,” some misguided High Point city official wrote.

MUNCHIES reached out to find out why candy corn (which, IMO, blows) isn’t on the same unenforceable list of banned candies. “It's not so much peanut butter hate as it is hate against a really all-around terrible candy,” a city spokesperson said. “I mean, I understand people have strong feelings against candy corn, but does candy corn break your teeth? No. Does candy corn come in a wrapper that's impossible to fully remove, causing you to enjoy your candy with a side of wax paper while you attempt to chew it? No. These peanut butter abominations are really unfortunate, and in order to help create the most enjoyable Halloween experience for the youth of High Point, we preemptively ‘banned’ them.”

The City re-emphasized that the ban is a joke, but for the good of the children of High Point, maybe everyone should take it seriously. Peanut butter kisses are nasty.