Spoiler: you’re going to need a lot of Alka Seltzer.
Aside from the banging headache, cement mixer stomach, and creeping sense of shame as hazy memories from the night before come into focus, deep down, you know that this hangover is only just getting started. Monday morning probably won't be much fun, either.
But have you ever wondered exactly how many hours of your life you spend recovering from boozy late nights?
Well, some kind souls have figured it out!
According to a survey of 2,000 people carried out by supplement suppliers Healthspan, people wake up at least once a month with a hangover. Over a lifetime, that equates to an average of two years spent feeling gross AF.
And that's only if you're hanging once a month.
One in 20 of those surveyed admitted to getting carried away on a night out six times or more in a month. It's not even worth thinking about how many more years that adds to the hangover time total.
Healthspan also quizzed participants on their go-to hangover cures. The most popular way to soothe a red wine headache was—shock!—water, followed by wallowing in bed, a shower, fresh air, and painkillers. Three in ten respondents also said that they craved salty foods. A bacon sandwich and a fry up were among the most popular meals for settling stomachs.
While hangover-free booze is still a pipedream, if you really want to wake up with a clear head, it might be time to listen to the scientists and just drink less. Or at least have the Alka Seltzer and bacon egg and cheese on standby.