Student Allegedly Baked Dead Grandpa's Ashes in Cookies and Handed Them Out at School
If you’ve recently lost someone close to you and are considering including their remains in some baked goods, maybe… don’t?
Look, everyone grieves differently. Each individual handles the loss of a loved one in the way that feels the most right to them, at that time. Maybe that means opting for a brightly colored, musically scored celebration of life instead of a hushed service at a funeral home. Maybe that means snorting your dad’s cremains, because he always knew how much you loved cocaine. Or maybe that means making sugar cookies from your grandfather’s ashes and passing them out to your high school classmates.
According to FOX40, an unidentified female student allegedly brought the morbid-ass cookies to Da Vinci Charter Academy in Davis, California, and passed them out to her friends. The Davis Police Department believes that at least nine students may have eaten the cookies, which means that there are at least nine teenagers who will probably take a pass on homemade baked goods for the rest of their lives.
The girl—who is surprisingly not Wednesday Addams—was up-front about the fact that she added human remains to whatever recipe she followed. "This girl is going around telling everyone, basically at this point, that she had brought in these cookies to school with human ashes in them," a male student who wished to remain anonymous told the news outlet.
The student said that he was questioned by school administrators about whether he’d eaten one of the cookies, asked to submit a signed statement about the incident, then advised that he should “not tell anyone” about what had happened.
Without his willingness to come forward, other Da Vinci Charter Academy parents may not have had any idea what (or who) their kids could have ingested during the school day; the boy’s father said the school has not sent out any official notification to parents. “The district seems to be a little bit more concerned about protecting themselves than protecting their students," his father said.
“While we cannot comment on confidential student matters, the physical and social-emotional safety of our students is always our first priority. Students are safe and there is no health risk at the Da Vinci Charter campus or to anyone involved,” a Davis Joint Unified School District spokesperson told MUNCHIES in a statement. “We take all allegations of wrongdoing seriously and we conduct thorough investigations and involve the police or other entities when appropriate. When wrongdoing is found to have occurred, disciplinary measures are applied and at the same time measures are taken to repair the harm within the community. This recent case has been particularly challenging and we have responded appropriately and in the most respectful and dignified way possible.
“Those who were involved are remorseful and this is now a personal family matter and we want to respect the privacy of the families involved.”
Meanwhile, the Davis Police Department is trying to determine how, exactly, they’re supposed to handle this. “This is so unconventional, it would take more research [into what crime has been committed],” Davis Police Lt. Paul Doroshov told CBS Sacramento. He also said that he didn’t believe that any of the students who ate the cookies had been “physically [or] physiologically” hurt. (There’s no medical diagnosis for the absolute mindfuck of inadvertently eating human ashes.)
If you’ve recently lost someone close to you and are considering whether or not to include their remains in baked goods, maybe… don’t? Or at least keep that particular batch of cookies for yourself.
Correction 10/17/18: A previous version of this story referred to the ashes as being the cremated remains of the student's grandmother. This story has been changed to reflect updated information that the ashes were allegedly the remains of her grandfather.