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Food

Help! I've Fallen in Love with These Tulip Corn Dogs

And I don't wanna get up.
Photo via Instagram user mikilove7777

So, here's an opinion. Corn dogs are great.

Think about it. There’s your frank, snug as a rug in a blanket of cornmeal batter, piping hot on a wooden spit, smothered in Heinz and French's classic yellow. Mmm, yes! No way it can get better! Yes sir, a corn dog is a dog who can’t be beat. The “top dog,” if you will. Haha ;-)

Now, I usually have no desire to endorse foodstuffs that are “too pretty to eat.” They'll end up in my body, after all, not my Instagram. I'm especially firm about this stance when it comes to fake flowers on food. I mean, terrarium cakes? Yawn! Can take ‘em or leave ‘em, frankly!

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I'm gonna just go ahead and walk back on this stance today. South Korea’s largest theme park, Everland, sells tulip corn dogs, Kotaku reported on Thursday morning. And they're honestly stunning. I mean…

I'm sorry, but what the actual fuck? Isn't this just about the cutest shit you've ever seen? Just take a look at the tulip itself, three-pronged like a trident, as pretty as the anemic rose from Beauty and the Beast. There’s a green squiggle of a stem, a lone leaf at its side.

Kotaku reports these corn dogs are fried in something closer to pancake or waffle batter rather than the traditional cornmeal product one might find in the United States. (Everland could not be reached for comment from MUNCHIES on Thursday regarding what these corn dogs are made of, which makes me quite upset; it's urgent!)

They appear to have been sold in Everland since mid-March, judging by the first Instagram post featuring them, at Merlin’s Snack, a conclusion I’ve gathered from this video posted by Everland.

A totally baseless prediction: I think we’re on the precipice of “a moment” for tulip corn dogs. I’ve really got zero evidence to back me up here; I’m just going to scream about it repeatedly so I can will this trend into existence. You heard it here first, folks.

Just look at all of these photos:

I frankly almost fell out of my seat when I saw this.

Stunning.

Gorgeous.

Um, did someone say “iconic”?

A lovely pair!

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Fuck!!!

Shit!!!!!

This is nearly identical to an earlier photo I posted but it's actually not the same!!!!!

Wow!!!!

All I’m saying is that tulip corn dogs are quite pretty, and I’d like to eat them. Thanks for reading!