Maybe 2017 isn't as bad as we thought.
You guys know how this works: you smoke weed, and then you order a gigantic pizza and settle in to watch Bob Ross paint happy little trees for the next two or three hours. But a Quincy, Massachusetts marijuana dispensary called Ermont, Inc. is combining these steps by adding weed to the tomato sauce on its personal-sized pies.
Ermont started selling the frozen pizzas about three weeks ago, and each serving is baked, assembled and frozen on-site in the dispensary's restaurant-quality kitchen. The secret is quite literally in the sauce, which is infused with 125 milligrams of THC before it is spread on top of the thin crust, cheese-smothered pies. "I think people at first are kind of blown away that it is one of the better frozen pizzas that they have had," Seth Yaffe, Ermont's director of operations told the Boston Herald. "And the fact that it's medicated is pretty exciting for them."
The only downsides? According to Boston Magazine, would-be customers must have a valid Department of Public Health-issued patient or caregiver card, each frozen pizza costs almost $40 and, perhaps worst of all, Ermont doesn't deliver. (Pro tip: If you don't live within driving distance of Quincy, you can make weed pizza in your own kitchen, by adding four tablespoons of homemade cannabis-infused olive oil to your tomato sauce.)
The portions are also slightly problematic; according to the suggested dosage, you're only supposed to consume ten milligrams of THC every two hours, which means that you're ostensibly only getting a sliver of this six-inch pizza. But that doesn't mean you can't throw a DiGiorno's in the oven while you're cooking Ermont's version, or order a backup pizza from your local favorite. ( High Times points out that edibles are "much more intense" if you nosh on an empty stomach, so keep that in mind.)
Now you're ready for those happy little trees.